CYOA Page 138

[lumy12]

Page One Hundred Thirty-Eight

You can't just release a ten-year-old into the world and expect him to survive on his own -- what were you thinking? You approach Joel slowly (you've found that talking to him before you even get close to him is helpful as far as not getting punched in the face). (...Okay, so he's never gone that far, but you've inadvertently startled the shit out of him a few times!) "Joel... Joel, it's me..." You don't shine your light directly in his face. Because that would be rude.

"Ellie...?" He's only been awake for half a second, yet he's sitting straight up and reaching for his gun. "What is it?"

"Relax, it's not... well, it's bad, I guess, but not get-your-gun bad..."

"What happened?"

"I guess I like... dozed off for a second? Okay, more than a second. I thought I heard a noise and I looked and he was gone. Zack's gone! I'm sorry. I shouldn't've closed my eyes..."

"Never mind that now. You think you heard him leave? Right before you woke me up?" And Joel's already heading out.

You follow him down the stairs. "I heard something... like maybe a door... and since he's gone, it must've been him, right?"

He checks the front door. "This one's still bolted -- must've gone out the back."

You follow meekly, not calling for Zack or even sweeping your light around much to look for him; Joel's heading in the right direction. You know he'll catch up to Zack before too long, and a pit of dread settles in your stomach. I'm sorry, dude... I suck... you've been out here on your own for a couple months and gotten by okay... unless 'starving' doesn't count as okay... but still alive! And now you're fucking up his chance to escape to a better life. You can tell yourself you're doing it for his own good... but that's not going to make a difference to the kid. How do you like it when Joel won't have sex with you and he says it's for your own good?! Like it's his decision to make!

You figured it wouldn't be hard to catch up to Zack -- he was moving slowly at first, and if he started running once he realized he was being pursued, he'd give away his location. If he decided to hide, Joel would probably have to sleuth it up a bit more... but he didn't. You've already caught him!

"Don't kill me! You can have your stuff back! Here!" He shrugs out of his backpack and holds it out in front of him like a peace offering.

"I ain't gonna kill you. The gun is for protection, remember? The gun is for protection, remember? I wasn't sure that was you... 'til just now." Joel sticks his gun in his pants... Ellie-style! you call it. "I don't want your bag, either."

"How did you hear me? I was so quiet! Or I thought I was..."

You're avoiding eye contact, shuffling your feet, hovering behind Joel. Here it comes...

"I got real good ears," Joel replies.

...What? Joel's not ratting me out? ...but he doesn't even KNOW... does he?!

"Come on back to the house now," Joel continues, and Zack doesn't protest; the three of you turn around. "You an' Ellie can sleep in the big bed an' I'll sleep on the floor. Right in front of the door, so you can't leave without trippin' over me."

"I won't run again, I promise," Zack says earnestly.

"Be that as it may, that's what we're doin'."

"I'll sleep on the floor too," you announce. "So he'll have to trip over both of us."

"What, you think I ain't big enough to block the door myself?"

"Nope! If he has to step over both of us -- well, he can't. He'll have to step on one of us."

"No. I get the floor all to myself."

You would much rather snuggle up to Joel on the floor than sleep in the bed. Why doesn't he just let you? You could make the snuggling look accidental...

"You weren't kidding about his hearing," Zack grumbles.

You're not sure you can answer that without incriminating yourself (why should he be worried about Joel hearing him go if you are watching him, right?), so you don't reply. You let out a big yawn instead.

"So... you guys aren't mad at me?" Zack asks.

Dude, YOU should be mad at ME! You're not going to answer that one, either.

"We're tired," says Joel. "We'll talk about it in the mornin'."

Great. Maybe you can just plan on sleeping in extra late so you miss that talk. And you hope Zack doesn't try to talk to you when you're going to sleep, with Joel right there... even if the kid thinks he's being cryptic, Joel might figure out you were an accomplice in the escape plan.

You make a big show of yawning some more.

You are actually pretty tired, and you're pretty sure that of the three of you, you fall asleep first...

...and wake up last! Zack's awake but still in the bed when you wake up at dawn-ish, and Joel's not on the floor.

"Oh good, you're awake," Zack says upon noticing the fact. "I didn't wanna go down by myself. In case Joel's mad."

"He won't be mad," you mumble into your pillow. "But he'll probably lecture you, and I don't really care to be there for that -- I've heard a million Joel lectures in my lifetime." ...or, rather, the past two years, but whatever.

"And he's not mad at you? You told him you fell asleep, right?"

"Yeah. And I think he believed me." You think you were acting appropriately sheepish, and the guilt you felt at betraying Zack could easily be taken as guilt for your failure to guard him.

Zack snorts. "And you told me he'd kill you."

"Well, I didn't mean it literally. Maybe I'll get a lecture, too." You prop your head on your hand. "I'm sorry your plan didn't work."

"It's okay. I'm actually... kinda glad it didn't."

"What? Really?!"

"Yeah... I still hate the thought of going home, but... right after I left I wished I was still back in that bed. It was kinda scary outside. By myself. Which is weird cuz I was by myself, for a long time."

You give him a little smile. "Not that weird. I get it."

"Can't we just stay in this house? It's pretty cool here."

"Ha. I know the feeling. Like... if you could just freeze time..."

"Yeah! Stay at this time forever."

"If only we could. Buuuuut we can't -- so why don't you go down and have breakfast with Joel. Tell him I'm still sleeping and I'll come down in a little bit, 'kay?"

"Can't you come with me?" he pouts.

You could, but you don't want to. Like... maybe if the two of them can just talk and move on, you can avoid discussing it further with either of them -- and thus, avoid revealing your dual deception -- and then just forget the whole thing. "You and Joel can talk man to man. Besides, I like to wake up slow." You muffle another yawn in your pillow for good measure.

"Okay. Seeya downstairs."

You lay there by yourself, just thinking. You feel way less guilty for tattling now that you know Zack regretted leaving. Or... if not fully regretted it, he obviously wasn't too upset to be found. I did the right thing, you tell yourself. He made a decision that wasn't in his best interest... you overrode it... and it all worked out.

...but that doesn't mean that Joel not having sex with you isn't bullshit! You shouldn't really compare the two. You're six years older than Zack, after all. And it's just sex -- nothing dangerous.

Maybe you'll stay in bed until Joel decides to come wake you up. Obviously he won't fool around with you here, with the kid downstairs or wherever... but you didn't even get so much as a good night kiss last night. You've got to make up for lost time! And then if we could just freeze time right THERE... when I'm in his arms... maybe with our lips locked... You doze off with a dopey little smile on your face.



THE END



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Comments

Carlos

[(Anonymous)]

Ahh... good ending... no fight this time. LOL

Re: Carlos

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Oh good, so I'm not TOTALLY predictable lol