CYOA Page 143
Sep. 12th, 2013 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12When will you ever get to see a water park again? And it's better to see it all now than to have to try to sneak away from Joel later. All I want to do is look... what's the big deal?
As soon as he's out of sight and ear shot, you start checking out the other half of the place -- at a very quick pace. Some of the slides are crazy-high... some have an elaborate system of tubes criss-crossing each other... all so colorful and fun (you don't care that Joel doesn't consider faded paint 'colorful' -- it fucking is). There's a ditch-type thing that you suppose used to be that Lazy River he mentioned. You try to imagine gently-flowing water, free of junk and debris, carrying happy people on floaty things around the park, and you're pretty successful...
...until the debris turns into the corpses of infected. It's hard to ignore those things, even when they're dead. You curse them for interrupting your little fantasy.
You're automatically more on guard now, just at the sight of them. You don't hear anything, though. And Joel would have heard if--
Ohhh there's a live one! A dormant Clicker. You curse it for ending your little fantasy. You wish you had the bow; bow-and-arrowing is your favorite way to kill them in this state. You could shoot it, but you're not entirely certain there aren't any others around, and you don't want to alarm Joel. Knife it is!
You ready your switchblade and then creep up behind the fucker, painstakingly slowly. You need to hit your spot quickly to keep this a noiseless affair. The Clicker is shorter than most you encounter, which is encouraging. Ready... steady... go! You leap on its back and plunge your knife into the sweet spot of its neck. Yes! A blood fountain! You drag the blade sideways a bit, just to make sure. The Clicker barely makes a sound as it crumples beneath you. You retrieve your knife and hastily wipe it (and your hand) clean on the thing's pants as it convulses a couple times and then finally lies still.
No time to waste now... Joel might already be back at the spot! You run as fast as you can, slowing as you near it in case he is there...
...but he's not! You lucked out!
You catch your breath while pacing -- pacing as if you're impatiently waiting for Joel to return. ...SHOULD he be back already? you wonder. What if something happened to him? What if there were infected or hunters or something hiding in the parking garage that you didn't notice before?
"Ellie?"
Thank God! you breathe a sigh of relief. "What took you so long?" you call back teasingly. Oh, hey... why did that come from over there... you were expecting Joel to approach you down the main walkway.
"What are you doin' over there?"
What a dumb question. "Uh... waiting for you, like I said I would?"
Joel and the horses come around the corner of the 'dragon slide' you're standing beside. "I told you to stay put."
"Yeah... and I did, so...?" You meet him halfway, then go ahead and mount your horse, since he didn't dismount his.
He's frowning. "Were you tryin' to give me a heart attack?"
"...What?"
"You knew I'd assume the worst when I didn't see you."
"I wasn't hiding." What the fuck is he talking about? You've been out in the open the whole time. You don't like the way Joel's looking at you now... and it's kind of awkward, the two of you just sitting there on your horses. You start heading for the gate--
"Hold on a second," says Joel.
--and turn right back around. "What?"
"You seem confused."
"Well, yeah. Why are you being all weird? ...why are you looking at me like that?"
"Like what?" he asks, continuing to look at you like that.
"Like... I did something wrong." Well, not exactly... more like he's trying to determine if you did something wrong...
"...but you didn't."
"No!"
"You didn't leave that spot for any reason."
"Nope."
Joel snorts. "That's funny, since we ain't in the spot now an' this is where I found you."
You stare at him. Is he trying to be funny? It doesn't seem like it... "What do you mean? We're in the spot right now. I was right here." You feel the color rushing to your cheeks. Time to start riding away again!
"Ellie, wait." Joel brings his horse up alongside yours. "The spot is over there. Where I was."
Your stomach sinks as you realize he's right. You were next to a cartoonish dragon face, yes, but it was on your left, not your right! The ride must have one on both sides. Ugh, how could I make such a stupid mistake? It felt right to you when you were facing the other way and you just... didn't pay enough attention before you took off. Maybe you can convince Joel he's losing it. "No it's not, it's right here! Remember the goofy dragon guy?"
"I do. I remember the one on the other side with more green on his tongue."
Whereas this one has more red in it... less paint flaking off? "There's only one tongue I'm interested in," you say coyly, leaning in and--
Yeah, you didn't really expect that to work this time; Joel draws back. "You left. After you told me you wouldn't."
Okay, how to play this... "Okay, so... I did leave. I had to pee and I didn't wanna just like... go out here in the open, right? I figured I had time to go before you got back. Then I just..."
"...went back to the wrong spot," Joel supplies.
"I guess I got turned around."
"Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?"
"Well, I didn't know I was in the wrong place."
"I mean about peein'. When I asked if you left."
"Uh... cuz I didn't think that really counted as... leaving-leaving..."
"Did you cut yourself while you were doin' your business?"
"What? No," you laugh. But... why is he asking me that, unless--
"Then where'd that fresh blood come from? On your sleeve there."
Shit! You thought you'd been careful in avoiding the splatter. "What, this? That's not fresh."
"It wasn't there five minutes ago."
"Yes it was! You just didn't notice. It's from... that fight, before. I guess. I mean it must be. I didn't notice it either, now that you--"
"I don' know what's worse: you lyin' when you said you wouldn't leave that spot before, or you lyin' to me over an' over now, tryin' to cover it up."
"I'm not lying!" you cry, feigning offense. Because you just can't seem to stop the fucking lying.
"Tell me where the blood came from."
"I don't know, exactly -- it's from this morning!"
"Where did you hurt yourself?"
"I didn't-- I mean, I don't know... I don't have any bad wounds. Just one of these scratches, I guess. Maybe I got it in the woods-- there was that low tree branch that I sort of scraped up against... yeah, maybe it was there." ...Don't think too hard about how the blood got in that spot when I don't have any new scratches above it, you plead silently.
Joel sighs. "You're a terrible liar. An' you know you are, so why are you doin' it?"
You know the blood rushing to your face when you lie is a giveaway... but it also rushes to your face for other reasons, so... "I'm not! I'm just... embarrassed, I guess?"
"About what?"
"...About... well, when we were talking about tongues earlier... and I got these... well... ideas... in my head..."
"We weren't talkin' about tongues. You have other tells, too -- pretendin' to be embarrassed ain't gonna--"
"I'm not pretending!" you huff. "Can we just go already? This is--"
"Yes, let's go." Joel abruptly urges his horse forward.
You're glad the conversation's over, but you hate how it ended. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to keep lying. But this whole thing is just DUMB-- who cares if I left for a few minutes? And what sucks is I do kind of have to pee, but I better wait at least an hour or Joel will know that I-- pfff, he already knows I lied, so I guess it doesn't matter... But you kind of want to believe your own lies, it seems.
Joel doesn't bring up the incident again that evening, but he's in a foul mood now, which threatens to spoil the fun of spending the night on one of the bigger boats, in a cozy little cabin. It could be pretty romantic, really...
He's quiet all through making camp, through dinner, through your night chores... and when you try to talk, he does the "shush-because-we're-Outside" thing. Apparently, if you want to clear the air, you're going to have to bring it up. ...Or maybe he'll forget about it by morning?
He doesn't seem extremely pissed off, because he does climb into the bed next to you. He also lets you snuggle up to him. He even kisses you good night, albeit briefly; when you try to continue the kissing, to take it to the next level, he backs off. Says he just wants to go to sleep, but you know it's more than that.
"Why are you being like this?" you ask him softly.
"I'm tired."
"You're not that tired. Whatever you're mad about, I'm sorry, okay?"
He snorts. "Whatever I'm mad about."
"...Yeah."
"That might be the most insincere apology I've ever heard."
"Oh, I can do better! I'm soooooooo sorry, Joel. I'd get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness, but there's barely any room to move in here--"
"It ain't funny."
"You're right. I'm not being funny, I'm being sorry."
He snorts again. ...and doesn't answer.
You rub his chest soothingly; he usually likes it when you touch him in 'safe' places. You toy with a button on his shirt until it comes undone, then slip your hand inside.
He actually turns away.
He turns and rolls away from you.
He's never done that before... not while awake, anyway...
"Joel, I really am sor--"
"Good night, Ellie."
..."Ellie"? Not "baby girl"? Now you're really starting to worry. "But--"
"Ellie, I swear to God, if you say one more word, I'll go sleep upstairs."
What the fuck...?! For a moment, your anger flares. He's acting like you did something way more terrible than telling a couple of measly white lies. You've pushed him before, though, and he's followed through on what he said, so... you don't want to do that this time. You don't especially want to stay in bed with him when he so clearly doesn't want you there and is acting so cold... but it's better than being away from him, isn't it? Of course it is. ...but I can fix this...
You sit up and swing your legs over the side of the bed. "It's okay. I'll go," you offer nobly, hoping that he'll--
And that's all you have to do -- he turns and grasps your arm. "No. Stay."
"Why? You don't want me here."
"I still want you close."
...Which means "I still love you." He still loves me! "You're not acting like you do," you say coolly. "You're like a million miles away."
He lets go of your arm and... you think he's sitting up, too... maybe putting his shoes back on?... "Stay here. I'll sleep up on top. Prob'ly should anyway, with the horses--"
"No. We should both stay here." You feel your way along the wall to where you remember the door being -- closer to Joel than to you, because Joel has a weird thing about you always being farther away from the door than he is. "This room is pitch black. I can't stay in here by myself."
He sighs. "Will you get out of the way please?"
"No. Did you hear me? I can't sleep in here alone, so if you really want to ditch me... I'll sleep up there." That's how fucking noble you can be... when you know he'll never let you do it!
"Fine. Then come back to bed."
You're reluctant to leave your post now. "I don't want you to leave me," you say in a very small voice. You're not even playing now... it really bothers you that Joel is so upset with you, and that instead of yelling at you, he's just being like... mean.
After entirely too long an interval, he says, "I won't."
"I mean leave me down here," you clarify. "By myself."
"I won't," he repeats.
"You promise?"
"I promise."
"The other thing, too, though. Leaving as in... leaving. Just... I meant for tonight, but..."
"That, too."
You wanted him to take you in his arms, but he's getting back into bed... and you'll take that. He could bolt the second you climb back in, and you wouldn't be able to stop him-- but he won't. He promised. He said he wouldn't, and I believe him.
...OH.
You still think he's overreacting, but... you kind of get it now, you think.
You don't try to touch him; you're afraid another rejection will make you lose it. You're okay with him laying next to you. "Joel... just listen for a sec, okay? I am sorry that I lied. And that I told you I'd do what you wanted... when I knew I'd probably end up doing what I wanted. I shouldn't-- it was wrong. And then... I don't know why I couldn't admit it. Somehow it was just... easier to keep lying, I guess? I dunno but I'm sorry because now you probably think you can't trust me, and... I want you to know that you can."
He's quiet, and you can't see his face so you have no idea what he's thinking. He's just inches away from you and you're so longing to reach over and touch him... but you don't. You hold your breath and wait.
"Apology accepted."
You wait, but he doesn't add anything to that. "Okay. Um... thanks." ...That's a good thing, right? So why do I feel like I want to cry? You roll away from him and face the wall. You're not going to cry -- he'll think you're just trying to make him feel sorry for you.
You endure a couple minutes of silence, during which you tell yourself IT'S OKAY, IT'S FINE, HE STILL LOVES YOU... on repeat... and then you feel his hand on your shoulder. "Hey," he whispers. "Thank you for sayin' that."
You're welcome. You don't trust yourself to speak, so you just murmur a "mmhmm."
And then... he curls up behind you! He's spooning you! "That was real mature."
!! "...Really?" you whisper.
"Yes. Usually you try to... manipulate me, distract me... an' it usually--"
"I don't manipulate you!" (and your voice sounds fine, so you needn't have worried)
"...Maybe not intentionally, but you do. It usually works, which I reckon is why you keep doin' it."
You think 'manipulate' sounds harsh, but... you do know what to do and say at times to get what you want. Which is... kind of the same thing? Or EXACTLY the same thing. "I just hate it when you're mad at me."
"I know. I ain't mad." He plants a kiss on your neck, making you shiver even though it was innocent. "But I'm glad you owned up to it."
"Does that mean you still trust me?" ...ugh, too far?
"I don't... not trust you."
"But next time I tell you I'll do something, you won't know for sure that I mean it," you say sadly. "Like just now, when you said you wouldn't leave -- I believe you. Because I know you'd never lie to me."
"Oh, I don' know about never."
"What? When have you lied?" You turn your head as if you can actually see him over your shoulder.
"Well... sometimes when you wanna talk my ear off an' I ain't in the mood, I tell you I'm too tired instead." He kisses your cheek, as if to soften the blow.
Only it's not much of a blow! You giggle. "Um, I figured that out already. What else?"
"That's it."
"Okay. I think I can live with that." You twist around a bit so you can give him a proper kiss.
"I love you, baby girl."
Awww! "I love you too, Joel. Thank you for... not being mad. When you totally have reason to be." You can add that, now that you know everything's okay. And because Joel considers it MATURE of me!
"Where'd that blood come from, anyway?"
"...I'll tell you tomorrow."
"Why can't you tell me now?"
"Cuz you're not mad at me, and I don't want that to change."
"O... kay, now I'm worried."
"Don't be, it's not a big deal. I'm just... tired."
Joel snorts. "I see. All right, tomorrow it is. I'm holdin' you to that."
"Good! Then I'll tell you, and you'll totally trust me again because I kept my word?"
He just kisses you in response... and you're okay with that. You know trust doesn't work quite as simply as that, but as long as you never fuck up again, what do you have to worry about, right?
If you'd like to start another adventure, return to page 1.
Carlos
Date: 2021-02-19 05:36 am (UTC)RE: Carlos
Date: 2021-02-19 12:52 pm (UTC)