lumy12

Page One Hundred Forty-Eight

You actually looked up 'seduce' in the dictionary once, back in Jackson: "to entice someone into sexual activity." That's all. Now, you weren't exactly expecting an illustrated how-to guide or anything, but you thought maybe it would give you a little more to go on than that.

You've tried to entice Joel into sexual activities before. More than once. ...okay, loads of times, actually. But it's mostly been with words, because that's what you have at your disposal. Logic just doesn't work with Joel, though! You've been together for ages now. More than two months! (well, technically, more like two years, but the pre-romance months unfortunately don't count in Joel logic). And you haven't even gotten to the point where you get naked together. Oh, you've sneaked a peek here and there. Or, tried to; you haven't been able to see much, because Joel has eyes in the back of his head or something and just somehow knows when you're around. In fact, he caught you once! God, that was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was that he felt the need to talk to you about it afterward.

To your knowledge, Joel has never spied on you -- yet you fucking want him to! You've tried to catch him... but you can't, because he never does it. Before you were ever a thing, Joel had rules about what state of dress was appropriate versus inappropriate, for both of you. All that stuff was really weird for you, in the beginning... when you were on the road together, you turned your backs on each other when changing clothes and it was not very important at all. Not the way surviving day to day was. But all that changed in Jackson. In Jackson, it's apparently inappropriate to walk around in your own home wearing only a towel. When your relationship changed, you assumed that now Joel wouldn't mind seeing you in a towel -- or less. Nope, you assumed wrong! For someone who claims to be "not a good person," Joel can be really uptight about certain things. And for someone who generally doesn't like to talk, he sure gets into the whole dad-lecture thing often enough.

But he's not your dad. It's weird that part of you still kind of thinks of him that way, but he's not. You know Joel feels the same way about you, in this regard. The major difference? You're fine with the weirdness, and Joel sooooo isn't. Maybe because you've never actually had a dad, whereas Joel did have a daughter, once upon a time.

You're almost ready for Joel to come up now. You had to make him wait an extra minute when you realized you'd left your hair brush in one of the bags downstairs. Then you brought several bags up with you, as they all end up upstairs anyway when you go to bed. The rose on the bed is a nice touch, you praise yourself (you had to get that surreptitiously downstairs as well, from one of the 'window cover' bushes -- one that extended a branch inside a little, like a person extending their hand... only full of roses!)(...how did the roses bloom on the inside, anyway?). Candle light would be the ultimate romantic touch, but you'll have to settle for a sunset (that you can't even see from here).

You look yourself over in the mirror one more time. Your freshly-brushed hair floats about your shoulders; you really ought to brush it more often, because Joel always wants to touch it when it's nice like this. Your skin... ugh. It's always either pale as fuck or some shade of red. But Joel likes your stupid freckles, you remind yourself. And you're showing off extra freckles in this nightie. You're fairly clean, since you wiped off whatever dirt you could see while you were washing your dinner things... you've got some cuts and bruises, but not as many as you sometimes do, and Joel will just kiss them anyway... Your boobs are probably your best feature (and oh, how your fourteen-year-old self would've laughed to hear you say that!); they're on the small side, but they're nice and round and the perfect size to accommodate Joel's hands (or so he says)... and this thing makes them look really good! Your ass... could be a little bigger, but you've never heard Joel complain.

Here we go... "Okay! You can come up now!" You scamper into the closet and close the door, keeping it open just a crack so you can watch Joel.

Your heart starts pounding so hard the second you hear his footsteps on the stairs. Oh my Godddddd this is it! You're excited, scared, nervous -- mostly excited!

Joel walks right up to the rose and picks it up. "Where'd this come from?" he wonders, mostly to himself, it seems.

Walk out there NOW, you command yourself.

He looks around and starts to leave the room! "Are you in the other--"

"No! I'm here -- ummm... just sit on the bed!"

Joel glances at the closet door, puzzled. "O...kay..." He strips off the holster belt on his hips and lays it across the night stand (which gives you one less thing to remove, yay), and then does as he's told.

Just DO IT already! you command yourself. FUCK! Your heart is still beating up your rib cage from the inside, and your feet are still frozen to the floor.

"Are you all right?" Joel asks. Because you're taking so fucking long.

For some reason, you feel a twinge of guilt; Joel looks so innocent, sitting there on the edge of the bed, his forearms resting on his legs... you take a deep breath. Maybe 'innocent' isn't the right word... unsuspecting? Yeah, that's it...

"Ellie--"

You exhale and slowly emerge from the closet, wishing you had practiced the art of seductive walking. ...if there is such a thing. (You think there probably is.)

Joel's eyes widen. "Whoa..."

Your feet seem to have frozen again! And your face is hot, your stomach is busily twisting itself into a knot--

"Where'd that come from?" he echoes the rose question. And he's smiling a little... is it an appreciative smile, or an "oh isn't she cute when she tries to act grown up" smile?

"I found it." You stand there awkwardly. OH MY GOD ELLIE WILL YOU START ACTING SEXY ALREADY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

"Are you gonna let me get a closer look or what?" Joel teases.

"Do you like it?" you ask pathetically -- it's pathetic because the question should have come out sounding flirtatious, perhaps with a wink or an eyebrow waggle, and instead, it reeks of desperation.

"I'll let you know if you come over here."

You know if you keep standing there like an idiot for another minute, he will get up and walk over to you, and you already have him on the bed, so you don't want him to do that, do you? Now MOVE!

It's not possible to walk any more unsexily than you're doing right now -- you practically stumble over to the bed! But when you're standing in front of Joel, he pulls you right into his lap, and you start to relax a little in the familiar territory.

He runs his hand down your side, sending a pleasant shiver through you that you're sure is enhanced by the silkiness of the fabric. His other hand cups the back of your head as he gently kisses you, and he threads his fingers through your hair. "It's nice," he murmurs.

"Nice? That's it?"

"Very pretty."

That's better. "So you like it."

"I love it."

You didn't expect him to hate it, but you feel relieved anyway. You kiss him, not quite as gently as he kissed you, but not hardcore... not yet... you need to come up with a plan here. What does a person who's trying to seduce another person do with their hands? ...first step would be to remove clothing. Right?

You try to start unbuttoning his shirt, and find that you can't do that and kiss him at the same time (that's how they do it in the movies! Maybe it takes practice?). You forfeit the kissing to get down to business. Joel's hand on your thigh is more than a little distracting...

"You got one of these for me, too?" he asks, fingering the lacy hem.

"What, this?" You giggle -- and you hope it doesn't sound like a lame nervous giggle. You are quite nervous... "Why, you want one? You'd look hot in it." ...does he really want one, or... ?

"Or ridiculous."

"Or both at once? Ha!"

"Just wonderin' if that's why you're fixin' to take my shirt off."

You pause the fixin' to slip your hand inside his shirt. He's wearing like a tank top undershirt thing -- which is what he usually sleeps in, too, unless you make him remove it -- so you're not even feeling his bare chest, but running your hands around under his unbuttoned shirt still feels... intimate. "I just think you should be wearing the same amount of clothes as I am."

"Is that so." Joel kisses your bare shoulder, making you shiver again. It's his facial hair that makes it so tickly!

"Yeah. That's fair, isn't it?"

"Not really. I didn't dress you in this." He trails kisses up your neck, all the way to your ear. "An' your body's a hell of a lot prettier than mine."

You giggle and try to yank one sleeve off. "Maybe I'd rather see your body." Much better! you congratulate yourself: that sounded fun and flirty. But your self-contentedness is tempered by the frustration of not having undone enough buttons -- you're just uselessly flapping his shirt about. You try to get back to work on the buttons but Joel's arm gets in your way, and then he's kissing you... you can't very well unbutton a shirt when your head is spinning...

Kisses are good, of course, but you're on a mission here, so you break it off and give him a playful little shove. "You're distracting me!"

He chuckles. "From what? Ain't that what you invited me up here for?"

"Well... partly..." Now you can yank the shirt down his arm. He helps you out by shrugging all the way out of it. Both arms.

"You happy now?"

"Getting there," you giggle. Your fingers linger around the edge of his tank top, and you wish like crazy that Joel were as ticklish on his sides as you are -- because wouldn't that be fucking cute! -- but Joel is immune to tickling. Or so he claims. On the areas he's allowed you to touch, you've found it to be true.

You do need his help with this one -- you can only shimmy it up so far without his cooperation. Joel pulls it up over his head and tosses it aside. "Now you're happy."

"Nope! Not yet." But you are happy to be able to feel his warm chest... and play with the curly little chest hairs...

"If I take off my pants, I'll be wearin' less than you."

"But I'm not wearing pants!" you point out.

"Oh, I'm well aware of that." He trails a hand down your bare leg.

"So... I should take this thing off, too, then when you--"

"No!" he laughs. "Don't you dare. Bad enough I'm lettin' you sit in my lap practically naked."

You nuzzle his ear. " 'Practically' being the key word there," you whisper, tickling his earlobe a little with your tongue (he likes that). "We're not breaking any rules yet."

"Mmmm... ... wait. 'Yet'?"

You probably shouldn't have said that last word out loud; you instinctively know that in order to successfully seduce Joel, you can't let him think too hard about what's happening. "Were you trying to look down my shirt just now?" you tease him in the hopes of distracting him from that little word. And that 'just now' is actually referring to about ten seconds ago.

"First of all, this ain't a shirt. Second... that was prob'ly the tenth time I've looked."

You laugh, delighted. "Really? Wow, I didn't even notice!" Now that you're looking down, too, you realize the fucking strap has fallen off your shoulder, again -- you yank it back in place. You didn't think he could actually see anything, since you don't when you look down, but with that strap out of place, who knows... Well, eventually, we're both going to be naked tonight, so it doesn't matter... don't be so SHY, you scold yourself.

Joel has sort of seen your boobs before. But only when it was so dark he couldn't even see them with his eyes, so maybe it doesn't count. You still blush at the memory.

"You know, we are breakin' rules," Joel murmurs into your cleavage.

You wonder if he's going to nudge the lacy stuff aside... "We are?"

"Mmhmm. No foolin' around Outside," he recites.

"Pfff. We're in a safe place." ...I guess he's not going to play with the lace... his lips are moving to your throat, but his hand is moving up your midsection...

"Still Outside."

"It's okay. The window's broken -- we can hear everything going on out there," you assure him, although, honestly? he doesn't seem too perturbed. His hand massages your breast, thumb resting on the lacy part riiiiight over your nipple...

He's distracting me! FOCUS, Ellie! You need to figure out how to get his pants off while you're sitting on them. You shift a little and start undoing his belt.

"You really want these off, hmm?"

"I just want you to be comfortable," you say sweetly.

Joel sees through that lie, of course. "Right. In that case, better keep 'em on."

"Noooooo," you giggle. "I'm in my underwear, so you should be, too..." ...and then how long do I wait before we get naked? Hmm...

To your delight, Joel decides to help you out! He has to shift you off his lap to do it. You forgot he's still wearing his boots, too, so you have a few moments to decide what to do next. Do I pull him on top of me? He likes that... but then he'll get too excited and roll off me... I could straddle him... then he's pretty much at my mercy... at least, until he gets too excited and pushes me to the side... okay, so, either way, I have to figure out how to make him--

"This... really is an indecent amount of leg to be showin' off here..." His hand is fonding the indecent part, way up your thigh...

"It is? Hmm. Sorry 'bout that." Oh good, he IS hard... you kind of thought he was, but now that the jeans are out of the way, you're certain (he's very skilled at hiding erections in his pants). Emboldened by the sight, you slowly swing your leg over his lap and straddle him. Both of his hands gravitate to your ass -- and your nightie is hiked up now so he's grabbing your panties...

"You don't seem very sorry to me," Joel observes, one hand sliding up your back all the way to your head as he pulls your mouth to his. You part your lips and feel his tongue right there, ready to go... your crotches pressing together, his hand squeezing your ass... you moan a little as the pleasure pulses through your body.

In the movies, this is the part where you would rip the rest of each other's clothes off and start the actual sex. But Joel can go quite a while like this, just kissing and fondling... sometimes his hands will slip beneath the fabric of whatever you're wearing, but only momentarily. You can encourage him to touch you, over and over, endlessly reassuring him that you enjoy it... but his fucking misplaced guilt always wins out. If you get upset about it, you get the this-is-how-it-has-to-be lecture. Meaning, if you can't accept it, you two are done.

Since that would be a fate worse than death, you accept it.

And you like messing around with him. It's fun, no matter how far you get. If you want more, you remind yourself that you're lucky he's even willing to do this much with you. That he's come a long way since that first kiss (after which he promptly freaked the fuck out).

You know he wants you; you're sitting on proof of that. You have to show him that you're ready for sex. That you are old enough. That you're a woman, not a little girl. Fuck that stupid number eighteen.

"Joel..." You pull him as close to you as you can as he nibbles on your neck. "I want you... I want you so bad..."

He groans and flops backward, pulling you with him... but you sit back up. You take hold of his hands so you can pretend to be in total control of the situation... pretend he can't get away now. Can't stop you. You're free to do whatever you want...

Except you have to release one of his hands if you're going to use one of your own. You wonder if he'd tolerate his dick rubbing against your underwear. There's a little flap in the front of his boxers where it could poke out... it's not coming out just by your grinding motions, though, so you'll have to help it a little. You release his hand to reach down and--

"~What are you doin'~," Joel says lightly... in that tone that lets you know he's not at his breaking point yet. He's enjoying this. But he did grab your hand before it could finish its job!

"Joel, I'm ready," you blurt out. "We've been waiting so long..."

"Not that long."

"Two years!"

"Uh... try two months."

"Whatever! I... really want this. I know you do, too. We love each other--"

"No."

"...We don't love each other?"

" 'Course we do. But we can't... act on those feelin's."

"Why not?" You shift a little, rubbing your crotches together... you're not really sure how you're supposed to move in this position, but you've had success before just moving around... applying pressure... easing it so you can apply it again... you can see it affects Joel. He'll get that dreamy, heavy-lidded look on his face, or he'll even grunt (very softly, but you've heard it)...

Right now, his eyes are closed. You're pretty sure he's still liking this, but you can't read his expression. "Mm. You know why," he practically whispers.

"But I'm ready," you remind him.

"Well, I'm not. I ain't ready."

"Yes you are! Joel--"

"No I ain't." His hands move to your waist... but only because he wants to move you off of him.

"Nooooo!" You clench him tightly with your legs and push his hands away. "We're not done yet!"

He smiles... it's the sexy smile... "We don't gotta be done. But we stick to what we're comfortable with."

"What you're comfortable with, you mean. You're the one who's not ready. -Who says he's not ready." You do like the way he's stroking your thighs now...

"I ain't lyin'."

"But you're not a virgin!"

He chuckles. "That's got nothin' to do with it."

"Yes it does! You're not ready only cuz you think I'm not ready. But I totally am. I swear I am, Joel!"

"Me not bein' ready has to do with... other things, besides that."

But you know the main reason is what you said -- he thinks you're not ready. That you're too young. Maybe you need to show him how ready you are. Stop being shy and just go for it. You're relying too much on your words again -- proper seduction requires action!

...But you also don't want to push him too hard and piss him off to the point where he shuts down the whole thing.

If you get more aggressive with Joel, turn to page 152.

If you continue to seduce him as best you can while respecting his wishes, and hope for another opportunity to move things along later on, turn to page 153.