CYOA Page 152
Sep. 12th, 2013 04:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12You don't care what he says -- he is ready. He wants you as much as you want him.
I need to do this fast... before I lose my nerve or he stops me... You yank the silky garment up over your head and toss it to the floor. Joel watches you -- yes! -- but then he turns his head and closes his eyes. What the fuck? You hear him murmur your name... in protest, probably, but clearly he's not serious if you have to wonder, right?
"Look at me," you order him. Seeing you topless should drive him crazy, right?
He chuckles. "I can't. You broke the rules."
"Your hands have seen them before..." You move said hands upward -- he doesn't stop you! -- and pose them on your chest, each hand cupping a breast. "Your mouth has, too..." That one awesome night, in bed. "Why not your eyes?"
He squeezes your boobs and makes a soft grunt-y noise (which you decide is a good thing).
"Please look." You make an effort not to sound whiny. "Do you think they're ugly or something?"
"Ohhh no. I ain't fallin' for that one."
Fuck! Usually he DOES fall for that tactic... guess he's on to me now... "I'm serious. They might look okay to you in clothes but... maybe they're repulsive, underneath..."
"Repulsive? No. You're gorgeous."
Gorgeous! You like that. "How do you know if you won't even--"
"I caught a glimpse, when you were..."
You laugh wickedly. "If you already saw, then there's no reason not to look now." Maybe you can take advantage of his eyes being closed, though... you need to work off your underwear (yours and his) somehow...
Seems safer to start with yours. Just do it, you command yourself again. No time for shyness! Besides, Joel's not even looking. You lean into his hands while you shift your legs around... shit, I can't just... I have to put them together to get--
"Ellie, what-- no, don't take those off."
"Too late!" you reply cheerfully.
He starts to sit up, but you push him back down -- a little harder than you intended, but he seems amused. "Well, now I can't look at you or touch you." He folds his hands up behind his head, eyes closed again.
"Why not?" you pout as you lower yourself on top of him. "You still have yours on. You're safe." For now...
"You're bein'... extremely naughty, though."
"You like it," you tell him as you press your lips to his.
"No. I don't," he lies. He gives in to the kiss for a few moments but then groans again. "If you wanna keep playin', you need to put your clothes back on."
You ignore that comment. "Why are your hands--"
"They're locked up. For safekeepin'."
You giggle at that and start yanking on his arms in an attempt to free them from behind his head. He's got his fingers firmly laced together... when you pull, his whole head comes up. "You're doing sit-ups now?" you tease him. You drop his arms and flatten yourself on top of him, kissing him deeply. I need to shift a little lower to get... the perfect alignment... riiiiight... THERE...
His hands free themselves and start roaming your back side again. One settles on your ass, pushing it into his groin, and a thrill surges through you with the extra pressure applied. Feeling his warm skin on your torso is nice, too... you moan into his mouth. "I'm so ready, Joel..."
"But I'm not. I told you to put your clothes back on."
"Yeah, but you didn't mean it." You sneak a hand downward...
He chuckles. "Oh yes I did."
Be quick about this now... You insert your hand between your crotch and his and fumble around for that boxer flap.
"Ellie, no -- knock it off, right now. I mean it."
"Why..." You try to distract him with kissing. But as soon as your fingers make contact with skin down there--
"What the hell are you doin'!" -Angry this time. He pushes you off to the side. You resist being dislodged like that, but he does it forcefully enough that you can't stay on top of him. He's sitting on the edge of the bed again, adjusting his boxers.
"Are you shy?" You don't think he is, but... "You have nothing to be nervous about. Just think of it this way: I've never seen one, so I have nothing to compare it to. ...Right?" You slither up behind him and reach your hand around--
He bats it away before you can touch him. "Did you not hear me say 'no' a dozen times? What's gotten into you?" And, to your horror, he starts putting on his jeans!
You grab his arm. "Don't do that! I'm sorry -- I'll be good now, I swear."
He halts with one leg in and one leg out. "You'll be good? Ellie--"
"We can go slow. As slow as you want. I'm sorry!"
He turns his head, as if to look at you but of course he can't -- won't -- due to your offensive nakedness, so he stops short. "As slow as I want? I told you, I don't wanna do this at all. You're too young."
"You don't want..." Aaarrggghh! He's such a fucking LIAR! You're starting to get angry now yourself. "Then why are we even together?!"
Joel snorts. "Good question." He stands up to finish pulling on his jeans.
Wait... what? "Are you saying... are you saying you don't even want to be with me now? Like... at all?!"
He doesn't answer that. Which... probably means yes?
Oh my God.
Your anger dissipates... it's replaced by fear.
"Joel?"
"I can't talk to you like this." He's actually leaving the room.
"Joel! Okay okay -- I'll put clothes on -- just wait! Wait! Please!"
He was about to slam the door behind him, you're pretty sure, but your pathetic plea must've moved him enough to simply pause in the doorway instead.
"I'm getting dressed -- just wait --" You pull your underwear back on, then quickly yank his shirt on and do one button. "Okay, I'm decent!"
He glances at you. Sighs. "That ain't exactly--"
You do one more button. "Now? Please come back. Or I'll go sit with you -- wherever you want. Just don't leave."
Joel relents and walks back over to the bed. You scoot away from him to prove your goodness. "See? I won't touch you. Promise."
You want him to take you in his arms and kiss you and tell you he's not upset with you, that you can touch him as much as you want, wherever you want. He doesn't do this, of course. He perches on the end of the bed and looks at you... wearily, you suppose would be the word. "It's my fault. The rules ain't clear. I shouldn't play with you as much as--"
"No! It's my fault! Like you said -- you only said no a zillion times and I didn't listen. I'm sorry. Really sorry."
Joel looks at you knowingly. "You're sorry 'cause you didn't get what you want."
"No, I'm sorry for... upsetting you." And because you didn't get what you want.
"Right. That, too. Because then you asked why we're even together, an' I agreed, so now you're panickin'."
Joel, why are you being this way?? He sounds... cold, or distant. You have to fix this! "I didn't mean... it's not that we shouldn't be together."
"What did you mean, then?"
"I dunno. ...Is that what you were agreeing with when you said 'good question'? Is that what you think -- that we don't belong together?"
You wait for him to say no, that ain't it at all, "come here baby girl let me hold you"--
"I don' know," is his answer.
...!!!!!
You swallow a lump in your throat. "I'm sorry. Really truly sorry. I've been a dick. Can you forgive me? Please? I promise I won't do it again. I'll do whatever you want."
He puts his head in his hands and sighs.
This is probably the point where you'd give up, if this was anybody else. Someone rejects you -- not only rejects you, but won't budge an inch -- you don't keep throwing yourself at them. You fuck up, and you live with the consequences. But this is Joel... he's your life.
You slide onto the floor and scoot right up next to him. On your knees -- because if that's what it takes, you'll do it. You'll do anything! "Please talk to me, Joel. I love you. I know I fucked up... but... you still love me, right?" If he says no... I'm going to die right here right now.
He doesn't say anything!
But he does eventually lower his hands and look at you. "What're you doin' on the floor?" he says finally.
"I'm begging you, Joel, please! Please don't leave me. I can't... I can't handle that. You can punish me however you want, just--"
"Punish you? This ain't... punishment."
"You're mad because I didn't listen to you. But I will from now on, I swear!"
He shakes his head. "If I'm mad about you not listenin'... it ain't about you not followin' orders. It's about you not hearin' me."
"I did hear you! You said no... and I respect that."
He snorts. "No you sure as hell don't."
"I do -- maybe I didn't enough before but I do now -- I will, I promise!" You almost rest your hands on his knee, but you don't want him to think you're still trying to seduce him. You're way beyond that now -- you're pleading for your life here! You keep your stupid fucking hands to yourself.
He looks at you, and for the life of you, you can't read his expression. "There's too many years between us. Too much... life experience, or maturity, or... I don' know... somethin' you don't have that makes this--"
"But I am mature! Everyone thinks so! You think so!"
"In some ways, yes. But not... I think maybe we ought to re-think--"
"No! No no no no" -- you are clutching his knee now, you can't help it -- "Can't we go back to-- you were happy with me before, right? We can pretend the last few minutes never happened and I'll never do it again. Okay?"
The more groveling you do, the more annoyed Joel seems to get. He stands up... and has to actually shake you off his leg before he can move. "Christ," he mutters to himself.
You're crying now; you can't help that, either. "Joel, please!"
"I ain't leavin', all right? I just need some time to think... an' you need time to calm down." He strides quickly out the door, leaving you there on the floor to sob your heart out.
But you're not going to sob your heart out... at least, not right here.
Why couldn't he just hold me and tell me he still loves me, and that he forgives me? He said he wasn't leaving, but he might just have meant he won't leave you alone in the house. You're pretty sure he's just figuring out how he should break up with you.
You feel a war raging inside you... between anger and sadness. Which one will win?
If you storm out of the house, turn to page 228.
If you curl up in the closet and die (okay not literally but close enough), turn to page 233.
Carlos
Date: 2021-02-14 01:30 pm (UTC)RE: Carlos
Date: 2021-02-14 03:35 pm (UTC)RE: Carlos
Date: 2021-02-17 05:07 am (UTC)