CYOA Page 190
Sep. 11th, 2013 09:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12Joel can handle himself, and you can't in good conscience abandon a scared kid who's never faced off against infected before. Hunting animals who are running away from you is hella different than fighting monsters that are trying to kill you. "Okay, dude, um... there's no infected over there. See if you can get the horses over to those dumpsters and hitch them to something. Or go to that building -- whatever. Just talk to them calmly to get them to--"
"How can I talk to them calmly when I'm not calm myself?!" he wails.
"Fake it! Maybe it'll calm you down in the process. Go!" You don't have to tell him twice; there are several Runners heading your way now. You make pretty quick work of them with the shotgun. You glance at Joel (he's fine) and Zack (also fine) before blowing away three more Runners who aren't even close to you yet.
More glancing around... shit! There are two Runners coming out of a building on Zack's other side -- like, Zack is in between you and them. He's hitching the horses and hasn't seen them yet. You could move in a little closer and chuck a Molotov cocktail over there... but you'd rather there be more than just two to make better use of it. "Zack! Turn around! I want you to shoot one of those motherfuckers!"
"What? But-- but--"
"It's okay!" You're running toward him now... and you stop short. "Just do it! You take left, I'll take right, okay?"
"...O-okay..."
You could take out both of them yourself, as they're not right on top of you (yet), but that's why this is a perfect time for Zack to practice. Trial by fire, I think they call it? He looks super nervous. "Hey. We'll do it together, okay? On my count. One... two... three! Go!" You blow yours away easily. "Zack! Shoot!"
"I did!"
"Well, keep shooting! You have a lot of--"
He shoots like four or five more times, in rapid succession. Crazy, panicked shots. He did hit the Runner, but not fatally; it's still lumbering toward you.
"Zack, aim higher! Actually, any kind of aiming would be good..."
He misses a couple more times.
You're starting to get nervous yourself now. Oh, fuck this-- You can easily get a head shot at this range. You and Zack fire in unison.
"Wha..." Zack looks dumbfounded. "I got him!"
"Uh... I think--" You cut yourself off; why stomp on the kid's shaky-at-best confidence? "Yeah, I guess you did, with that last one. Though I don't know how, since you weren't even holding the gun high enough to have any kind of decent aim."
Zack hurries forward to examine his kill. You look around and find no other infected near you. And Joel...
...has disappeared? But you just heard more gunfire!
"Joel!" you holler at the top of your lungs.
An agonizing handful of seconds ticks by before he answers. "We got 'em all!"
"Awesome! Be right there!" You turn back to Zack. "Are you okay?"
He's still staring down at the crumpled mass of bloody Runner. "Yeah. ...These things are really ugly up close."
"Haha -- yeah they are. Me and Joel always check their pockets. Sometimes they have ammo in them. But... I can check them, if--"
"No, I can do it. Nothing scary about 'em when they're dead. Just... gross. Why do they carry around ammo?"
"From before. If they didn't bother to empty their pockets before turning. And I don't think most people give a shit about that when--"
"Ellie! Don't come over here!"
...Huh? You look at Zack. "Did he just say DON'T come over?"
"Yeah, that's what I heard, too."
"Why not?" you holler back. "What's wrong?!"
"Nothin'! Just stay put for a bit!"
You sigh. Was Joel lying when he said he got them all? "Stay here," you tell the kid. "Search both of these fuglies and then hang out with the horses, okay? I'll be right around that corner over there if you need me." You wait for him to protest, prepared to remind him that 'he' just killed a Runner and he'll be fine... but Zack doesn't seem to require any reassurance. He's too fascinated by the dead Runners. It's like he's never seen a corpse before... and it's not like you guys haven't passed any since picking up Zack. None as fresh as these, though... "Hey. You heard me, didn't you? Zack?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's cool," he says dismissively.
How quickly they grow up! you think to yourself, absorbed for a moment in this taste of parenthood, feeling very much like some mom in a movie. "Okay..." You start trotting toward Joel, your silliness forgotten as you get back to wondering what he's up to. Wondering and worrying.
But when you turn the corner, you see him standing with three other guys amongst the carnage. ...So he's bonding with the hunters now? He doesn't seem surprised to see that you ignored his request... and he doesn't seem annoyed, either, so that's good. "Hey, why did you--" You stop dead in your tracks and do a double take when your gaze falls upon... Oh my God! "...Danny?!"
Joel looks... satisfied? "You believe me now?" he says to Danny. You hurry over to Joel's side, and he puts his arm around your shoulders. "You all right? The kid?"
"We're both fine. He's... back there." You keep watching Danny, who's giving you the strangest look. Like he's trying to place where he knows you from? "Do you remember me?" you ask him. "I'm Ellie. I've... been over to your house a few times? Babysitting your kids? I mean, yeah, you're not usually there when I am, which is kind of the whole point of--"
"I don't have kids," he interrupts you, and he seems more agitated than confused. He looks back at Joel. "And I don't have a wife. I would remember if... if I..."
You are certainly confused now. "What's wrong with him?" you ask Joel quietly... not so quietly that Danny can't hear, but you don't really give a fuck if he does.
"Wonderin' that myself. Obviously he's got amnesia. These two gentlemen here don't seem to have any idea what happened to him, either."
"We had nothing to do with it," one of them replies, scowling at Joel... with a scowl that rivals Joel's. In fact, he might even be out-Joel-ing Joel in that regard.
Amnesia? That' only happens in movies! This is fucking crazy. ...But apparently it's also real. "We should take him to the hospital," you tell Joel. "They might be able to help him, right? Or figure out what happened? And his mom can confirm what we're saying."
"My mom," Danny says softly... pensively. He nods at Joel. "You mentioned her, too. Also that she's at the hospital. You're both... saying the same things."
"Exactly," Joel replies. "What reason do we have to lie? But the hospital's real close -- we go there first, your mom confirms, you can decide if you wanna come home to Jackson or not."
"You have nothing to lose," you add. "We know you haven't been... not-yourself for that long. Less than a month. So... whoever these dudes are..." You pause in case one of them cares to enlighten you on that point, but neither of them does. "I mean... you have a family. That's huge."
He shakes his head. "Maybe it would be, if I actually remembered them. You think they'll wanna see me... like this?"
"Yes!" That's assuming his family would feel the same way you would, if Joel suddenly didn't remember you. Which, granted, is a truly terrible, terrifying thought. But, still... "I'm sure they'd rather be with you than... to not be."
...At least he seems to be considering it? But then he turns to his hunter buddies and throws a "give us a minute" your way. He drifts back with them, and you turn to Joel. "How is there even a question of what to do?" you scoff softly. "Is he crazy?"
Joel keeps his eyes on the trio, and you get the feeling (surprise, surprise) that he doesn't like those two guys. "I think he'll come with us. Put yourself in his shoes: he just found out he has a wife an' kids, an' they're gonna have... expectations. Expectations he can't meet. He seemed more okay with the idea of talkin' to his mother..."
"...because a mother's love is better?" Not like you would know.
"Not better... but different. She is closer than they are, distance-wise... but I think he'd feel less pressure, dealin' with--"
"Joel--" --you interrupt him, because this is just so important that you have to tell him right now?-- "--if that ever happens to you? Like, you just wake up and forget me or something? You should--"
"I don't think that's how it happens," he says lightly.
"Well, whatever -- you should know that I wouldn't put any pressure on you to... try to remember, or to act a certain way, or anything like that. I--"
"Bullshit," he says, laughing softly.
"I wouldn't!"
"Yes you would. It don' matter anyhow, 'cause if it happens, I won't even remember we had this conversation."
"But--" ...fuck! He's right, of course. "That sucks! ...Maybe I should write it down. Then you can carry it around in your pocket, and if you don't remember me, you can read it and go 'huh, this Ellie chick must be a pretty cool person, maybe I should hang out with her' -- and I'll just be thrilled that you're okay -- okayish? Cuz I guess losing your memory isn't okay-okay..."
"You're cute, you know that?" He has that I-wish-I-could-kiss-you look on his face (you're the only one who interprets it that way... mostly because when you're alone, he does kiss you after he looks at you like that!).
You grin. "So... I'm totally going to write you that note."
"All right. Maybe you should write one for yourself, while you're at it."
"Me? I don't need one."
"You don't... how do you know?" he chuckles. "If you can't remember--"
"Doesn't matter. We'd react differently to this. I know it."
"We would, huh?"
"Yep. I've wanted a family my whole life. If you tell me you're family, I'll want to be with you." ...assuming my personality and shit stays the same?
"Shit. You definitely need a note, then."
"What? I just said--"
"That's why you need a note. You're too trustin'. Any old shmuck who gets wind of you losin' your memory can tell you they're your family and you'd believe 'em. Then they'd do God knows what with you while--"
"Okay, fine, I'll write myself one, too. Then you'll only have to worry about some other guy named Joel saying it.... or someone who says he's you..."
"Make note of the accent. ...'Course, they could fake that... not like you'd be able to tell..."
You're about to respond but you see Joel turn his full attention to the others, and you turn toward them yourself. Danny is approaching you while the other two hang back. "I'll go with you guys," he says, looking at each of you in turn. "To the hospital. And then..." He shrugs. "Probably to that other place, too."
"Jackson," you supply.
"Yeah. There. Like you said... I've got nothing to lose, right?"
"Right!" You beam at him. "Good! And like -- if things are weird with your family, you can make a new life for yourself there way easier than you can out here. Believe me."
"One thing at a time, kiddo," Joel says with a little chuckle.
Danny looks a little uncomfortable (was it what you said? you were being nice and reassuring!), but offers no comment. "I, uh... have to pick up a few things at-- where I've been staying..."
"We'll go with you," says Joel. "Just need to round up the horses an' the kid."
"...The kid?" asks Danny, who probably didn't think he could get any more confused.
"Yeah, we found him on the way here," you explain. "But he's one of ours. Jackson's, I mean. ...In a way, we're sort of like one big family. You'll like it there. I mean, you do like it there... as far as I know?"
Danny gives you a tentative smile -- the first one you've seen from him here. "Maybe you guys can fill me in on who I am on the way."
"We will," you assure him. "Except not literally on the way, because Joel has this thing about being quiet Outside. But if we're like... inside somewhere, or breaking at a place that feels safe--"
"Speakin' of bein' quiet Outside," Joel cuts in, looking at you pointedly.
"I know! I was just saying. Okay, let's go!"
You do stay mostly quiet while the three of you collect Zack, the horses, and Danny's stuff, in that order, although you're bursting with questions for Danny (hopefully he'll be amenable to fielding at least a few once you're safely at the hospital). Like, what exactly is it that he doesn't remember? Just people? Places? Or does it extend to things like... how to tie his shoes and eat with a fork? Obviously he remembers how to speak and understand English. Does he remember some stuff from the past, just nothing recent? Does he remember his childhood? Maybe that's why he's okay with the idea of re-meeting his mom -- because he has at least vague, fuzzy memories of her? And how did it happen -- did he get hit on the head or something? Or did he really just wake up and have no idea who or where he was... scary. Joel said it doesn't happen like that, but... how does he know for sure? It's never happened to him.
You also can't help thinking about you and Joel... and what it might be like if it did happen to one of you. About how much of your love is actually wrapped up in memories of the other. That's... sort of what it IS in its entirety, right? Maybe two people have some kind of inexplicable connection, like CHEMISTRY... but basically, it happens over time. You build memories with another person... and that establishes your relationship. Creates those fond feelings. Love is like a collection of memories that just keeps growing and growing... which explains how your love for Joel can just keep growing and growing, even though you always feel like you couldn't possibly love him any more than you already do. To have to start that over by creating brand new memories... or, for one person to start over while the other waits for them to catch up (which is impossible)... what if it feels too forced? What if the love only comes when it happens organically?
It's too depressing and scary to think about. Much more fun to imagine how bad Joel would freak out if you ~put the moves~ on him when he doesn't remember you. "Oh YES, Joel, we fuck ALL THE TIME! I'm kind of hurt that you don't remember, but you can make it up to me..."
That actually makes you laugh loud enough to earn a warning glare from Joel. "Sorry!" you stage-whisper to him.
Should this weird amnesia misfortune ever befall the two of you
If you'd like to start another adventure, return to page 1.
Carlos
Date: 2021-01-29 01:25 pm (UTC)Re: Carlos
Date: 2021-01-29 01:44 pm (UTC)