lumy12

Page Two Hundred Thirty-One

After experiencing your charm on full blast for as long as he can stand (resist?) it, Joel heaves a very aggravated-sounding sigh. "I don' know how you always talk me into these things."

"So we can do it? Yay!" you squeal, kissing him excitedly. "Thank you!"

"Don't get your hopes up. I doubt he'll wanna come with us. An' even if he does, there's no guarantee the Big Three will agree to let him stay in town." He means Tommy, Maria, and Maria's father.

"I just want to try. That's all. Thank you thank you!"

Joel laughs when you plant kisses all over his face. "You're like a happy little puppy."

You extract yourself from him, eager to get going now. You offer him your hands to pull him up. "And that's how I talk you into things. You like seeing me happy."

"That I do."

"Okay so do you remember exactly where his cave is?"

"Not exactly, but I got a good idea."

"Me, too." You were hoping Joel would know the exact spot, but you're still confident you can find it again. "Man, is he gonna be surprised to see us!"

Roughly two or three hours later, you're sure you're in the right area. It's later in the day, so the sun is casting different shadows, but the trees and rocks and flowers... the way the mountain looks to the east... it all seems right. Joel thinks so, too. And yet... no cave. You've been searching for at least half an hour, going in circles at times because you're so sure you're in the right place.

"Maybe he's got magic powers," Joel suggests. "He can make the cave appear an' disappear at will."

You just roll your eyes at him.

"No, I think I'm on to somethin'. That's how he's survived out here so long an' collected so much shit without it gettin' taken."

You "pffff" at him and continue to look for it.

But like, two minutes later, Joel calls you over to where he's searching. "Found 'im!"

You gallop over there and look where Joel's looking -- up high, in a tree. Actually, more like three or four trees -- evergreens -- clustered together. "Hi, David!" you greet him cheerfully, like you're old friends.

He regards you with that vacant expression that unnerved you before, but now you've decided he chooses not to show emotion. Rather like Joel does sometimes.

"Is that a... you have a bow?" you ask him. "And arrows? I didn't see that before."

He still says nothing. He doesn't have an arrow ready -- they're all in the quiver -- but you see Joel has a pistol drawn, resting in his lap. You know the boy isn't going to hurt you, though; he knows you. Knows you're not out to hurt him.

You glance at Joel... at the pistol... shaking your head slightly... but if he gets it, he's not 'listening' to you. And he's definitely looking at you like "you want to do this? YOU do all the talking." You smile up at David. "So, listen. Joel and I decided we're gonna take you home with us. To this place called Jackson. You're going to love it there... there's lots of people... kids... I mean, not lots of kids, but some... you can have a mom or a dad again. Maybe both. And there's always food -- you don't have to hunt it yourself -- and you can sleep in a bed every night! And there's movies... music... games... books -- and if you don't know how to read, you can learn cuz there's a school..."

His face remains impassive, and you have to wonder how much of that he even understood.

You glance at Joel again, and he gives you an almost-imperceptible shrug; he apparently still does not want to contribute to the conversation.

You look back up. "If you want to, I mean. You don't have to, of course, but... life is hard out here all by yourself, isn't it? Wouldn't you rather have friends? Family? Like... you could just be a kid."

"I am a kid," he says.

"Yeah but you're also an adult, out here... taking care of yourself instead of someone taking care of you."

"I can take of myself real good," he says sullenly.

"Okay, but... do you have any fun?"

Silence.

You look at Joel helplessly, and this time he decides to help you out. "David, is it? Look. I know this prob'ly sounds... overwhelmin'. -Too much. You wouldn't have to... do it all at once. You could just have a nice hot meal... a nice hot bath... an' a nice cozy bed. How's that sound?"

"Yeah, I didn't even mention the water!" you add. "You can shit in a toilet instead of out in the woods. You can brush your teeth and take a shower and... be nice and clean..."

Joel chuckles. "Boys ain't always so concerned with bein' clean."

You weren't really, either. Still aren't, when it comes to getting your hands dirty and stuff like that... but you've gotten so used to frequent bathing that you're just dying to get home and hop in the shower (even though the hospital did let you use theirs -- just yesterday!). And how does this boy clean his teeth? With twigs, like you and Joel did on your first trip when you had nothing else? Or does he not even know that you're not supposed to let little bits of food rot in your mouth? You keep the smile plastered on your face. "Have you ever slept in a real bed?"

He looks confused now. "Every night. I showed you."

"But that's not a real bed. That's just... a blanket on the ground." And on your dead parents' laps... but you don't know that he sleeps there, or spends any time there at all. Maybe he likes to think it's keeping them warm?

"Kid, it's up to you," says Joel. "We can't force you to come with us. But if you want a better home..."

"I have a home."

"A better life," you add.

He just looks at you and frowns.

You pull your horse up right beside Joel's. "Why the fuck isn't he jumping at this opportunity?" you ask quietly.

"This is all he knows," Joel replies. You hear the shrug in his voice.

You return your gaze to David. "When you were little... when you were with your parents. When they were alive, I mean. Did you ever live in a house? Or... maybe not a house, but a building? Like where you had a room to sleep in and stuff?"

"I live here," he says stubbornly.

"You do now, yeah, but... have you always? ...do you remember?"

If he does, he's not sharing.

What else can I say that might help him GET it?... ..."Okay, um... I know it's scary, leaving everything behind. Everything you know. But sometimes... sometimes if you do that, you end up with something better. I did that, two years ago... not knowing what was going to happen to me... and everything turned out great. Like, super great. And I didn't even know... but you -- you do know. If you believe me, I mean. And you should believe me cuz I promise you, Jackson is awesome." Not without its flaws, but compared to the way this kid is living? It's fucking paradise. "Everything you do out here... you wouldn't have to, there. Hunting for food... like hunting animals, skinning them and cooking them... setting traps for them... picking berries or whatever... collecting rain water... stealing bullets and stuff from people who come through here... you don't have to do any of it."

He's still frowning. "Then what would I do?"

"Um... play? Run around and stuff? Go swimming? Or sledding, in winter... you could just be a kid? I know, you are a kid." So fucking literal! (as if you're not) "Um... go to school..."

"Where's school?"

"It's right there in the middle of town."

"Why would I go there?"

"...To learn things? Like how to read. Then you can read books, and comics -- I bet you'd like Savage Starlight. That's my favorite."

"I don't think he knows what school is," Joel theorizes.

He's probably right... and he probably doesn't know SAVAGE STARLIGHT, either. "Don't worry about that -- the thing is, you can eat there, in Jackson. Every day. More than once a day. And someone will just cook it for you and give it to you, you don't have to do it yourself. Doesn't that sound good?"

He doesn't answer. What he does is pull his bow off his shoulder, and an arrow from the quiver. Joel tenses, but you don't; the kid's not going to just decide now that he wants to shoot an arrow at you.

You keep trying to reach him. "Hey, it's still... more than a day's ride from here. So if you come with us, we can tell you more about it on the way... and like, explain stuff to you, if you have questions... what do you say?"

He's just dicking around with the bow and arrow. Like, fucking with the string, but not drawing and pointing or anything... maybe it's like a comforting thing? Like self-soothing cuz we're making him uncomfortable?

...Maybe a more direct approach would be better? "David... will you come with us? Yes or no?"

You can't tell if the kid's mulling things over or if he's just totally tuned you out... but Joel doesn't wait very long before breaking the silence. "It's clear he ain't ready," Joel declares. "Let's just go."

"He's thinking about it, Joel," you protest.

"No he ain't. He's wishin' we would just leave him alone. He's thinkin' he might have to shoot us to get us to shut up."

"Joel! Jeez."

"Let's go," he repeats. "Now."

Normally, he might just start to leave himself, knowing that you have no choice but to follow (...well, mostly no choice? You know he wouldn't go far without you so that doesn't really work, if you've really got your heart set on staying wherever you are)... but he doesn't leave now. Because he doesn't trust the boy not to shoot me. You glare at Joel.

He glares back. "Ellie, how long are you gonna keep at it? He don't wanna come with us."

"He didn't say no. I'm not leaving unless I hear that."

Joel looks at David. "You don't wanna come with us, do ya?" he asks -- like a total dick!

"Don't say it like that!" That was barely even a question... more like a statement, with a perfunctory question mark at the end. "David -- do you want--"

"Go away!" the kid yells suddenly. "Go away! Go away!"

"Okay! Okay, we're going," you assure him, startled. You finally nudge your horse to slowly start walking away. Joel is right behind you. Like, thirty seconds later, you call back to David, "I'll come visit you soon, though, okay?"

"Ellie!" Joel chides you.

"Bye, David! See you later!"

"Ellie, knock it off," Joel growls. "We are not comin' back here."

"You don't have to -- I said I would come visit him. He knows you don't like him, that's why he--"

"You don't like him either, an' no way are you comin' back here by yourself."

"I like him okay now that I understand him a little better."

Joel snorts. "If you understand him so well, why did you think he would wanna come with us?"

"Okay, you said it yourself -- he's just not ready. But now it's in his head, see? It's in there and the idea will tumble around and he'll start to imagine having a better life, and he'll change his mind."

"I don't think he knows how to imagine that." Joel shakes his head. "There's somethin' off with that kid. He's... cold. Distant."

"Well, duh -- he doesn't know us yet."

"He ain't got an ounce of humanity in him."

"Yes he does!"

"Where do you think he got that bow an' arrow, hmm?"

"I dunno... he found it? He stole it? Where did we get all our shit from?" you remind him.

"Maybe he killed someone for it."

"He didn't kill us when he saw us before!"

"Still -- that kid has killed people. I can feel it."

"And WE have killed people!" Ugghhh, he's so fucking infuriating!

"Not like... I can't explain it. I'm gettin' a sociopath vibe off him."

"A what?"

"He's... antisocial..."

"So are you!"

Another glare. "Not like that. It's like... he don't feel empathy... he can't relate to--"

"Joel, he's been alone for -- years, prob'ly! He can adapt -- he'll learn. He's just a kid."

"I think it's too late for that. He said no, an' that's final. We ain't comin' back here, either. Are we clear?"

"I'll come without you, then."

"No you won't. If I have to tie you up to keep you from leavin' the house, I will: you ain't comin' back here."

There's no point trying to reason with him at the moment. You can work on him; you'll wear him down eventually. And if you don't, you will find a way to visit David on your own. You know Joel won't really tie you up. You glance at him, a little smirk playing about your lips. "Will you tie me to the bed?"

"Yes. I wouldn't put it past you to try to sneak out in the middle of the night."

...As if he wouldn't wake up?! You'd be sneaking out of his bed, after all. And he'd probably program his sleeping brain to stay on Outside mode. "But I mean... you know. You'd tie me up? Would I be naked?" You waggle your eyebrows at him.

He snorts. "What do you know about bein' tied up... in a bed?"

You have to admit: annoying as it can be at times, it's pretty adorable when Joel thinks you know nothing about sex. Like you've never in your life watched a movie that shows, or at least references, various sexual things like that. "I keep telling you -- I'm not innocent like you think I am," you say coyly.

"So you wanna be tied up now?"

"No... I mean, maybe... I dunno..." You don't really get the appeal, to be honest. Being naked, sure, but... having your limbs bound like that would really hinder your movement.

"You sound confused."

"Well, I mean... it sounds kind of... restricting?"

"That's the fun part," Joel smirks.

"Wait -- you've done it before?"

"No comment."

"So, yes?"

"So, no comment."

"So... no."

He gives you a Look. "Allow me to explain the concept of 'no comment' to you. See, when--"

"Okay, okay, fine! You're not commenting." You're curious about his sexual history, but mostly you don't want to know, because the second he makes any reference at all to being with another woman, your jealousy boils over and you can't stand it. He knows this and respects it... usually. Except when he's in one of his devilish moods where he wants to torment you with shit! Basically, you know he has had sex, because he was married and had a daughter. But that's all you know. And you get the feeling his "no comment"s could go either way, whereas with other people, they may be using it to mean "yes." You glance at him but quickly look away when you feel the heat rising to your face. "Well, if you ever wanna try it..." You stifle a giggle.

"We'll have to revisit this someday, then," is his final word on the matter. And while you'd like to think he's now imagining you naked, you know better; he'll be too busy doing the whole Outside-Joel thing.

You're not imagining anything fun like that either, because your thoughts keep straying back to that poor little boy in the trees. Friendless, alone... surviving, but not living. And not even knowing the fucking difference.

You will come back here, someday soon. With or without Joel.

THE END

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