CYOA Page 254
Sep. 10th, 2013 01:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12Oh God... it's him. It's really him. The fungus hasn't yet fucked up his appearance enough to make him unrecognizable.
You don't want to kill him. You know he's already dead in every way that matters, but you still don't want to deliver that final blow. Joel will do it if you tell him. You retreat from your spot and start--
...No. He won't want to do it, either. Why should I make him do it for me? He may act like shit doesn't bother him, but you know some of that is just a façade. A 'tough guy' thing. Not that he isn't tough, but... you're pretty tough yourself.
You plant yourself squarely in line with Danny's route. You nock the arrow, pull your arm back... will your hand to stop trembling... -Which it does, for one perfect moment where time seems to stand still, and you loose the arrow... it flies straight into his heart. You've now killed one of your own.
You make the rounds of the corpses to collect your arrows (you don't bother actually looting the bodies), ending with Danny. You kneel in front of him... lean in and gently close his eyelids. "I really wish I didn't have to kill you," you whisper. "It sucks. I'm so sorry."
You don't get up until you hear Joel's footsteps approaching. You stand and wipe your eyes with the back of your hand. Before you even look at Joel, he puts his arm around your shoulders... you sniffle, and he rolls you into a hug. "I'm sorry, kiddo."
You're not really crying... don't want to start really-crying... but you accept Joel's comfort, and the tears silently sneak out, dying on his shirt.
"You should've came an' got me," he scolds you gently.
"Why? To make you do it? That's--"
"Yes. You wouldn't have to make me. I'd gladly do it."
You snort. "You wouldn't be glad. I know you liked him."
"I barely knew him."
"You knew him better than I did. You didn't... not-like him." You're sure you know everyone on that list...
"I mean I'd gladly do it... so you didn't have to."
"I know. That's why I didn't get you." You pull away from him and try to smile. "What's the big deal, right? He was infected. It had to be done."
"That's true. You should remind yourself of that, any time you feel bad. But... I know that don' necessarily make it easier. I've had to kill plenty of people I know. Not all of 'em infected, either."
"Really? Who did you--" But you cut yourself off. "Sorry. I won't make you talk about that."
He chuckles. "Since when have you been able to make me talk about things I don't wanna discuss, hmm?"
"Ha. Yeah, you're pretty good at not talking when you don't want to. But maybe you can tell me those stories later. Can we just get out of here?"
"Of course. I was just tryin' to say... you should've let me do it. It wouldn't've troubled me even half as much as it troubles you."
Because he's hardened himself to it. ...which is what you need to do. "Well, maybe next time it won't bother me at all."
"I hope there ain't a next time. Next time, you let me do it. All right?"
You nod half-heartedly.
"Remember, you did him a favor. No one wants to be one of these things. It ain't... any kind of real life."
"I know. I'll be fine. ...until we get home and have to tell his family... oh man, that's gonna suck so bad."
"You can let me do that, too."
"We'll do it together," you declare firmly. "Do you think he was on his way to the hospital, or on his way home? What about his mom?"
"Don' know... whoever goes up there next can tell her. We're closer to home than we are to that place, anyhow."
"Didn't he take a horse?" you remember now. "Shouldn't we look for it?"
"Shoot... that horse could be anywhere by now. It ain't practical for us to try to find it... it's like lookin' for a needle in a haystack."
You imagine what it would be like to search through a shitload of hay for one little needle. "That would suck, but it's not impossible."
"It may as well be. Tell you what... we'll check around here in case it stayed close. But if it didn't, we ain't wastin' our time. Tommy an' Maria can send out a big search party if they want to. Okay?"
"...Okay."
"Good. Let's go get the horses."
The two of you start walking back. He reaches for your hand...
...and you give it to him, lacing your fingers through his. It's so sweet when he does that... usually just when you're upset about something. It's such a simple thing; why is it so comforting? It's like... a physical reminder that you're not alone.
"Thanks, Joel," you say out of the blue. "For... everything."
"I didn't do anything."
You don't even know what you're thanking him for, really. It just came out. ...Thank you for not being the one that got infected? Thank you for wanting to make me feel better, and wanting to spare me pain by taking it on yourself? Thank you for being here... for ALWAYS being here for me, whenever I need you... and thank you for holding my hand. You give him a little smile. "Yeah you did."
If you'd like to start another adventure, return to page 1.
Carlos
Date: 2020-12-10 05:32 am (UTC)Re: Carlos
Date: 2020-12-10 01:08 pm (UTC)