CYOA Page 269
Sep. 10th, 2013 05:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12The seating on the porch is inadequate for three people, so Joel and Zack sit on the top step, and you sit on the step below Joel, like... in between his legs (which sounds naughty... except you're more down by his knees than in his crotch!). You can tell he doesn't really want you that close to him right now, probably for multiple reasons... but he doesn't want to make a big deal of it or make a scene in front of Zack, so he lets you stay.
With some encouragement from you, Zack tells Joel what he told you, only with more detail. Joel... pretty much looks pissed off the entire time, but you think it's hard to listen to a kid describe a situation like the one he's in -- to see the ugly red scars on the boy's back -- and not feel pissed off about it. And he does listen patiently... he even thanks Zack for telling him. But then he just has to say, "You know that runnin' away ain't the answer now, don't you?"
You sigh. "Joel, he doesn't need a lecture!"
But Zack simply answers the question, albeit dejectedly. "Yeah... it's hard to be out here alone. Hungry and scared... at least at home, I'm safe from infected. It's a... like a different sort of scared? I realized I'd rather be with you guys, even if it means going home, than... keep being alone and... prob'ly dead soon."
"It's good that you called out to us," says Joel. "That was smart. And I promise you this: you will never live with that bastard again."
Yes! You're thrilled on Zack's behalf. You knew Joel would believe him, but... well, maybe you had a tiny niggling worry that he might not? You're not sure why, because Joel can tell when people are lying. ...except me, before... maybe I'm getting better at it? Or maybe Joel trusted you so much it never occurred to him that you might plot against him.
"Can I live with you?" Zack asks Joel... so earnestly that you feel bad for him, because surely Joel would never--
"Our house is too small for three people," Joel replies. "But there are plenty--"
"I don't need my own room! I could sleep on your couch!"
You have to chuckle to yourself; Zack could totally have his own room because you're hardly ever in your room now! But of course, no one can find out that you've moved yourself into Joel's bed...
"I think it would be better if you were in a two-parent home," Joel says diplomatically. "Tommy'n'Maria can work all that out. We'll bring you straight to them."
"...Really? It's that easy? What if he won't let me?"
"It ain't up to him. He's got no legal claim on you. Even if he did, we'd have cause to remove you, based on what you've told us. You'll be like a... foster kid. So if things don't work out in your new home--"
"They will! I'll make them work -- I don't ever want to go back!"
"...I was gonna say, you could be placed somewhere else. Point is, there are options. Livin' in an abusive home, like you were... ain't one of 'em. Ever. You understand?"
He looks down at his shoes and nods. "I asked Ellie if you ever hit her, and she said no. Even if you get really mad at her."
"That's right. That's how it should be. Adults should never hit kids. For any reason."
Even though I deserve it... You think you'd rather just take the punch and be done with the matter, honestly; it's an easier method of conflict resolution! Like the kids you fought with back in Boston. It's just... less COMPLICATED that way.
"Plus boys should never hit girls," Zack adds. "My mom told me that."
"That's right, too. Ellie's got double protection there."
"It's totally sexist, though," you put in. Most of those fights in Boston were against boys -- and you won a fair amount of them! "Dude, if a girl is kicking your ass? It's okay to hit her back."
Joel chuckles. "No it ain't. If a girl hits you... you should try to stop her from doin' that, first of all, but if you can't -- say she's a tough girl like Ellie, bigger than you -- then you remove yourself from the situation."
"Or you hit her back," you stage-whisper to Zack.
"You can prob'ly get away with that when you're a kid," says Joel, "but a grown man who hits girls... is gonna get his ass kicked by someone. That's just the way it is."
"Even hunters?" you challenge.
Joel hesitates. "Maybe not always with hunters. But in the old days, even in prison -- guys who were in there for violence against women would get their asses handed to 'em by the other guys."
"Oh yeah? How do you know?" you tease.
"It was common knowledge, trust me."
"I don't remember ever actually wanting to hit a girl," Zack muses. "If I was a girl, maybe he'd be nicer to me?"
Joel chuckles... but in a sad way. "I doubt that. A jerk is a jerk."
"You just weren't as lucky as I was," you tell Zack. "What happened to you... very easily could have happened to me. Just like you, I had literally no one in the world... just Joel. If he had been mean to me... I would've just put up with it, like you did, because I wouldn't have had a choice. I probably would've gotten used to it, like you did... I guess until it got worse and I felt like all I could do was run away..."
"Like I did," Zack finishes. "But I feel stupid now."
"What? Why?" you ask.
"Because we've been in Jackson for a long time now and... I still felt like I had no choice?"
"But you didn't know!" you reassure him. "You're not stupid just because you don't know something. Joel tells me that all the time!" And he doesn't seem as mad at me now...
"Maybe we need to talk to the teachers," says Joel. "Have them educate kids on what's okay an' what ain't okay. Instead of just assumin' that everyone in town is a good parent. The more we grow, the more likely we are to have problems like this."
You've noticed lately that Joel says 'we' more than 'they' now when it comes to Jackson shit. You're glad, because you feel that way about it yourself -- and for a while, it had seemed like neither of you would ever quite fit in. You still don't, in some ways, but you've carved out a nice little corner for yourselves, and you feel... accepted. "Are they gonna kick Mr. Weston out of Jackson?" you wonder out loud.
"I don' know. If it were up to me? Hell yes."
You suspect Joel would kick him somewhere besides out of town, actually. I wonder if he'll tell me later if he's gonna kick his ass... -No, he won't, you answer your own question. Because he likes to tell you that violence is not an acceptable solution. What he says and what he does, however, are sometimes two different things
"I don't know if I want that," Zack says, frowning. "Like... I don't actually hate him? I don't think he's like... a really bad person... he just hates me -- and I don't wanna live there."
"I don't think he hates you," says Joel.
You look at him in surprise. "What? He just told you--"
"I know. Guy's got anger issues."
"He's an asshole!" you cry.
"...and he's an asshole, yes." At least Joel agrees with that! He looks at Zack. "I don' know what his deal is, but it ain't hate that makes him... do what he does. At least, not hate for you. It ain't your fault. You understand?"
Zack seems skeptical. "How do you know?" It's like he wants to believe Joel, but...
"I just do," Joel replies (unconvincingly, much?!). "Look... it's natural that you feel a... certain amount of loyalty to him. He helped you out when you had no one. An' he uses that... he exploits that feelin' to keep you in line. It's a terrible thing to do to a kid."
"What's 'exploits'?" asks Zack.
"He... takes advantage of it. Let me guess: he likes to tell you how ungrateful you are for everythin' he's done for you? How wonderful he is for takin' you in?"
"Yeah. How'd you know? He doesn't say it in front of people!" Zack looks at Joel in awe.
"He's really smart," you answer -- hoping that flattery will earn you faster forgiveness. You scoot in close enough to lean into Joel, and he rests a hand on your shoulder. Yesss!
"I know the type," Joel answers. "Anyhow... you don' need to worry about what's gonna happen with him, all right? You did the right thing, tellin' us. Things are gonna be better for you from here on out."
Zack squirms a little, but is clearly pleased with this outcome. " 'kay. Can I go to the bathroom now?"
...Or maybe he's squirming for a different reason!
"You may... commune with nature now, sure," says Joel. "I do need to talk to Ellie. Give us a few minutes?"
As soon as Zack is out of sight, you start to slither upward... like a little snake, looking to strike while you have the opportunity! "Alone at last," you coo... even though you kissed him like... less than ten minutes ago? "Hopefully he--"
"That's... no." Joel pushes you back gently. "I do actually wanna talk to you."
"Okay. To forgive me? Awesome!" You beam at him...
...even though your charms do not seem to be having their usual effect. He gives you a hard look. "Is there anythin' else you wanna tell me? Any other secrets you've been keepin'?"
Your smile vanishes. "What? You can't mean... you're pissed now cuz I didn't spill Zack's secret? That he confided in me? You know -- in confidence?"
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe if we'd had this little chat last night, he might not've run off the way he did?"
"Joel, I told him he should tell you! He made me promise not to! It was his secret to tell, not mine!"
"Right... that's right. You can betray me, no problem. But not him."
...Ouch! "It's not like that! I just told you--"
"You keep tellin' me how grown up you are. A grown up would recognize that secret as one that shouldn't be kept -- at least not from me."
"Well, excuse me if I don't have a... fucking instruction manual on how to be a perfect adult," you huff. "I was going to tell you, if he didn't."
"Were you?"
"Yes!" You might have, anyway. Probably would have. Once you got home.
"Which is it, then? You just told me you didn't wanna betray his confidence. That it wasn't your secret to tell. Now you're sayin'--"
"What do you want me to say, Joel? Either way I'm in the wrong." You turn up the pout a notch... run your hand up his chest... "If you would just let me--"
"Why don't you come sit over here next to me. Where Zack was." He pats the top step. "You ain't even takin' this seriously. You think you can--"
"Yes I am! It's always serious when you're mad at me." But you might as well do what he says, since he's immune to your charms at the moment.
"Need I remind you we are not actually alone right now?" he says quietly. "Even if we were... you need to quit tryin' to... nothin' gets resolved that way."
You plop down and lean against the railing instead of against Joel. "Oh, I disagree. Everything gets resolved that way. Every single time!"
"It might make me less mad, but it don' make the problem go away."
"It makes you way less mad. Like... not mad at all. I'd say that means the problem went away, wouldn't you?"
"The problem ain't me bein' mad at you. It's... what you did. You don't seem to--"
"I apologized already! What else do you want from me?"
He shakes his head. "You said the words, but... you ain't really sorry."
"Yes I am!"
"Again -- you ain't grown up yet. When you're a kid an' you mess up, you say you're sorry and all is forgiven on the spot. It don't work that--"
"Hold on. I am not some six-year-old who... kicked another kid and had to be forced to do the fake apology thing."
"That ain't what--"
"That's what you're making it sound like! I know I was wrong, I said I'm sorry, I'll never do it again. What else do you want from me?!"
He just shakes his head again, like... in disgust or something. He stands up... even starts to walk away... without even bothering to answer!
You get up to follow him. "Joel--"
"What else do I want? Well... I think I'd like it if you felt just a tiny bit bad about it. It's like it don't bother you at all to lie to my face, go behind my back--"
"Of course it bothered me! Joel, look at me--" You grab his arm, but he just shakes you off.
"If I look at you, all you'll do is turn those eyes on me to make me forget it all. I ain't fallin' for it this time." Zack chooses that moment to reappear from the side of the house, and Joel waves him over. "I think we're all talked out now, all the way around. You ready to go, kid?"
Yep, discussion over. Time to get back on the road, changing direction yet again. Joel says the goal is to be back in Jackson tonight.
You... sort of get what Joel's saying? But you think he's being way too hard on you. It's not like you fucking cheated on him or something truly horrible like that. If anything, you were just being a good friend to a troubled kid. What's so wrong about that?
Fuck -- I should've told him what I was thinking before, about the rain washing all the bad away! you chide yourself. And the rainbow signifying a new beginning and all that shit! Doesn't that prove that you feel bad about what you did? You almost confessed a couple times, too, because the guilt was eating at you, but you just couldn't because you were afraid of how he'd react -- which also proves that you take it seriously! Man, why couldn't I have thought to say all that when we talked?!
But! Joel totally just admitted that he's not immune to your charms after all, so maybe it's better this way. He'll have time to cool off, you'll be the perfect little traveling companion from here on out, and then tonight, when you're snuggled up in bed kissing and stuff, you can tell him. And you can apologize again... from the heart. (Maybe you should do that before you go to bed, so you can 'turn those eyes' on him to their full effect!)
Yes, everything's going to be fine by tonight. Joel's anger doesn't stand a chance against your wiles!
If you'd like to start another adventure, return to page 1.
Carlos
Date: 2021-03-08 05:18 am (UTC)Re: Carlos
Date: 2021-03-08 06:16 am (UTC)