CYOA Page 270
Sep. 10th, 2013 05:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12"Ellie... ... ....Ellie, are you wakin' up?"
You feel tired. And... heavy. You register Joel's voice. And you're... bouncing? You're on a horse... but you're also in Joel's arms. Which is weird as fuck... why am I sleeping if we're traveling? "No," you mumble into his shirt, trying to roll toward him... but it's kind of impossible, with the way you're positioned in his lap.
"We can stop. I was gonna stop soon anyhow."
"Where's... we're on Summer, right? Where's Lucky?"
"Right here. He's fine."
"Then... how come I'm not riding him?"
"Because... it's a little hard to ride a horse in your sleep?"
"So why didn't you wake me up?!" You start to sit up.
"Easy... why don't you jus' stay how you are 'til I find us a nice hotel."
You know he doesn't mean a literal hotel... just anywhere suitable to spend the night. "I think I can sit, though... wouldn't you rather have your arm free?"
"I'd rather you not overdo it."
"...Overdo it? What the fuck are you talking about? Why was I sleeping in the daytime?"
"Your head's still messed up. I think you should--"
"No it's not!" It feels a bit foggy, and your face feels... sore?! ...but you wouldn't say your head is messed up. You feel less tired than you did a minute ago, and you manage to wriggle into a forward-sitting position in front of Joel -- er, kind of in his lap still? cuz of the saddle.
"Here, lean back a little..." Joel tries to give you more room.
"I'm good. I think."
"Well, that's good, 'cause my arm was startin' to fall asleep."
"Really? How long have we been riding -- with me sleeping?!"
"Only a few hours. What's the last thing you remember?"
A few HOURS?! "Um..." You rack your fuzzy brain. "...give me a hint?"
He chuckles. "I wasn't with you when you fell asleep. I don' know what you'll remember."
"Why weren't you with me?"
"You ditched me."
"I... what?! Why would I do that?"
"I don' know. I was standin' out there like a dumbass, waitin' for you to open the door, but you never did."
"What door?" But as soon as you ask, the memory comes back to you. "Oh yeah! I didn't do that on purpose!"
"No? Well, that's a relief," he says lightly.
"I couldn't get to the door! The stairs were blocked! Man... next time we go somewhere, we need to steal some walkie talkies from the..." ...That guy had one... the guy holding me... little by little, you're beginning to piece together what happened.
"From the gate post?" Joel supplies. "Good idea."
"The soldier had one. A radio. They called you 'the smuggler.' They were looking for you." You twist around as much as you can to try to look at him, but it throws you off balance... Joel's quick reflexes prevent you from sliding off.
"Watch it... maybe we should stop now, find a place later."
"In the dark?" The sun is starting to set. "I'm okay. Really."
"Do you remember what happened to you?"
"I wanna know what happened to you."
"You first."
"Okay, um..." You tell him everything you remember -- which ends up being pretty much everything, as more details come back to you in the telling. You also convey your frustration about them not answering your questions. "I had no idea why they wanted to put me to sleep. But the stuff they were saying to each other... fuck, I can't remember exactly. I know it had something to do with my condition." (Joel has trained you never to call it 'immunity' outside of your own house.) "They knew about it. It's like... well, remember you said the Fireflies stopped looking for a cure? I don't think all of them did. Joel, did you know there were Fireflies there?"
He doesn't answer immediately, which you find odd; did you not just ask a yes or no question? "No," he answers after another beat. "No I didn't. And Tommy would've told me if he knew. Last I heard, they were headed back east."
"Yeah, I remember you saying that a long time ago. Maybe 'east' was here? Or... no, Tripp said they hadn't been there long. I didn't get to ask him why they left Salt Lake City. And of course, he wasn't really going to tell me about the day I was there, like I thought he was... he just wanted me to stay while he went and... got his buddies or called them over or whatever. So I still don't know." ...Wanna fill me in, Joel?!... "What happened when we were there last year, I mean. He didn't tell me. ...I still don't know. ...and I want to know."
Joel doesn't take the hint. You're sure he understands what you want him to tell you -- could you be any more obvious?! But he chooses not to help you out. "What happened today was a huge misunderstandin'," is what he says instead. "I'm just glad I found you in time."
"What did happen today? Because... it kinda feels like Salt Lake City part two. We're going to Jackson on horseback instead of by car, but I slept through everything, just like then... you're being evasive, just like then..."
"I don't mean to be evasive. But it's been a long day, an' now ain't the time to tell you everythin' you want to know."
"When is the time?"
"...Not today."
"Why not? Cuz you need time to think up some good lies to tell me?" You can't help feeling bitter about being kept in the dark. "I have a right to know. And I'm not a little kid. You can tell me; I can handle it."
The way he chuckles under his breath... you're pretty sure he doesn't think you can handle it.
"Don't you think I have a right to know?" you press. "Those guys... were going to kill me, Joel. I'm pretty sure."
"I thought you couldn't remember exactly what they said."
"I don't, but... I remember thinking I was going to die if you didn't find me. That I'd never wake up again."
He passes the reins from one hand to the other and gives you a one-armed hug from behind -- like that asshole did! Only Joel's is NICE! "Must've been terrifyin'."
"Yeah. It was. I was also scared for you, once I knew they were hunting you... so what happened? You waited by the door for five minutes, then you went around the front..."
"Now ain't the time for that story, either."
"What?! I told you mine!"
"I know, but... later, all right?"
"That's not fair! Joel--"
"I don't care if it's fair or not. You're... delicate, right now--"
"I'm not fucking delicate, okay? I feel much better." Your face stings like fuck, but that would hardly prevent you from listening to Joel's account of what happened.
"Look, there's a motel up ahead. Let's see if we can stay there."
"Then will you tell me?"
He's quiet for a few moments... long moments... you can only hope he's giving serious thought to sharing the story with you. "I told you before... some things, I just can't talk about. Like Salt Lake City. It ain't that I want to keep things from you. I can't talk about it."
He's said things like that before... leaving you to invent your own stories about what happened that day. You have to conclude that whatever it was, it traumatized him. And, Joel being Joel, he's not going to talk freely about a painful subject. Unfortunately, that leaves a whole lot of blanks for your imagination to fill in... and your imagination can go to some truly dark places! Whatever it is that happened to him, it can't be worse than some of the shit you've imagined.
"Okay... but I'm asking you about today. What happened when you went inside?"
He falls silent again. You don't want to push him, but...
"Is it similar to what happened last year?" you push.
"...In some ways. ...All right, let's check out the--"
"No, can't we--"
"We ain't stayin' here if it ain't safe. We have to look around."
"...And by 'we,' you mean you."
"Can you even walk yet?"
"Guess we'll find out..."
He helps you dismount... and you feel a little shaky, but not that bad.
"You can guard the horses while I look," he decides.
"I can help--"
"Jus' stay here. Please."
He would've made you do that even if you weren't on drugs right now. And 'guard the horses'? That's just like... something you tell a little kid who's trying to help you do something, to make them feel like they're helping you, when in reality, they're not doing shit. 'Guard the horses' or 'guard the camp' are Joel's favorites. Or 'be my lookout' (although, to be fair, there are times that's actually legit).
Joel seems to take an extra long time to check things out. You feel like he picked a motel on purpose, to stall for time. He's got to check every single room... unless the doors don't open, but that still takes time, because unless the blinds are open, he has to stand there and listen for signs of occupancy. You try to be patient; it is starting to get dark now, and you'd rather sleep in a bed than on the floor of a gas station or something (and there's not much else around).
Just when you think you're about to drop dead of boredom, Joel returns. "It's clear. Let's bring the horses around back... get a fire goin'... how you feelin'?"
"I'm fine," you say crossly. "Can we skip the fire and get to the part where we talk?"
"No. I'm hungry as hell. You should be, too, unless... the sedative..."
You could eat, but you're not starving. "I'm not really. And a fire's gonna take forever," you whine.
"Not if you help me, it won't."
"Oh! I can actually help you with something?" you snark at him.
It doesn't actually take forever. And really, you do love a good fire. It's warm and cozy and... friendly. You and Joel have had some good talks in front of campfires. Plus, is there anything better than the heavenly scent of meat roasting in a fire? (...well, yeah, probably, but it's a pretty fucking good smell.) You hope the magic of the fire works its way into Joel and makes him open up to you.
Continue to page 271.
Carlos
Date: 2020-08-16 12:42 pm (UTC)Re: Carlos
Date: 2020-08-16 09:40 pm (UTC)