There is something seriously wrong with me

[lumy12]

Yes I'm talking mentally, not physically.

I'M OBSESSED WITH STAR WARS.

I invite my bro, the psychologist-in-the-making, to analyze this.  (and anyone else, of course, but if I don't invite him he won't comment, now that we live together, as if one thing has anything to do with the other?)

I've seen Revenge of the Sith 5 times, and the others (at home) countless times.  I wake up to the Sith soundtrack as my alarm.  I have an "Anakin" playlist on my iPod that I listen to constantly at work.  When I get online, I find myself having to exercise Jedi restraint to keep myself from delving deeply into all the Star Wars stuff out there (mostly through this livejournal and the endless communities devoted to something SW-related).  I've read the Sith book and want to get the book that details events before this final movie, though I have 3 other books I'm in the middle of and a Harry Potter book I should be getting psyched up for (July 16th!  I'm semi-psyched, but not as psyched as I thought I would be).  I love playing the Sith video game, even though I suck at it.  (I think I'm getting better)

I am able to function, but am not devoting much time and attention to anything besides Star Wars.  Well, that's not it, exactly... I mean, in the past 10 days I have met up with 3 friends (3 separate occasions) - one I hadn't seen in a couple months, one for 1 1/2 years, the other for 4 years.  This is highly social for an "antisocial" being such as myself.  And it's not like when I was with these friends, I wasn't really listening to them cuz I was thinking about Star Wars.  That wasn't the case at all.  I guess it's more about how my thoughts go when I'm alone - I think about it alot.  But WHY???  Because it's fun - sure.  It's a fantasy, an escape.  But there's nothing horrible in my life to escape FROM, so why should I be so inclined to want to escape?

I know there are plenty of other things I love that I SHOULD be spending more time on, but I just don't want to.  If I was dumped on some deserted island with nothing but a dvd/vcr player and the Star Wars movies, plus an endless power supply, I suppose... I don't think I would be miserable there for a loooooooooong time.  Isn't that just.... sick and wrong?

I always say obsession is fine because it doesn't hurt anyone - but is it indeed hurting ME?  I mean, I feel horrible thinking that when A. comes here (today or tomorrow) I will have to focus on him instead of something Star Wars-related.  That makes me feel like a horrible person.  I'm supposed to WANT him to be here all the time.  But I just want to be alone all the time - or, maybe not alone, cuz I like having my bro around, even if he tells me he's sick of Star Wars (horrors!  Of course, he still watched one movie with me after he said that, so phooey)... I guess alone enough to be free to pursue the Star Wars obsession.

And when I watch the movies.... I just get so pulled in, I feel like I'm there in those worlds, I WANT to be in those worlds.... I want to feel the passion that Anakin and Padme do even though it leads to their demise.... real life is just so boring in comparison.  Yet how can I say this when I am in fact never bored?

Maybe I'm just a wee bit sleep-deprived today, and a little grumpy about coming back to work after a blissful 3-day weekend.  But it's been like, 6 or 7 weeks since Sith came out (May 19) and I still feel nowhere near "cured" of the obsession, nor do I want to be.

Do they have support groups for this?  Ha!

Comments

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Okay, okay, so I shouldn't have annoyed B by saying he only responds when I TELL him to, cuz now he won't, on principle. All I got was a verbal "We're obsessive people" - so true. Maybe the two of us put together are more obsessive than each left on his/her own.

I figure, it can't last forever, so I'm gonna enjoy the heck out of it while it does last....

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

I figure, it can't last forever, so I'm gonna enjoy the heck out of it while it does last....

Apparently it can!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Why did I comment to my own post? What a doofus.

Yes it can! I hope it does!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

LOL...maybe you hadn't figured out the edit button yet????

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

No, I did! Because I edited that earlier post where I called RotS "Episode VI."

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. Hmmmm...maybe you were just tired of nekkid posts????

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Oh! Maybe that was it! It's SO nice of you warming up all the naked bodies in my past!!!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Someone has to do it. From what I can figure out from your comments, YOU never warmed up the nekkid bodies in your past!!!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Be nice! Nam's the mean one, not you! :P

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Nam is not mean!!! I must defend him since you have some warped perceptions!!! LOL

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

I'm going to TRY to sleep in a little bit, after reading some Harry Potter. (am trying to reread all of The Half Blood Prince before the movie comes out) If I sleep well enough I may wake up early enough to tag you back before trudging off to work, whee! (tomorrow's the 5am start day)

And Nam IS mean. He told me he wouldn't bathe me cuz he prefers younger women. And yet he IS willing to bathe YOU. Hmph! He's got it bad for his Deborah-chan!

You can have him, DJ is sweet to me ♥ and I have YOU after all!!!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

LMAO!!! I suspect that if Nam ever thought you were serious about that he'd never talk to me again!!!!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Ha ha, yeah right! He wouldn't give you up now! Nam + Deb = OTP!!!!!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Ok, you're scaring me! This sounds way to much like a DJ post for any comfort level. Although I am amused that the A/P here is Anakin/Padme!!!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

I had it bad, didn't I??? I wouldn't watch any other movies for a while. See, I have gotten better since then.

Yup, still no Palpakin!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Did you really CRY every time you saw it??? It's sad, but it never made me cry. I'm just not a crier!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

I did! I still do! Sometimes more than others.

The only time I didn't doesn't count, because I fell asleep (it was while recovering from jetlag when I first got to England!)

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

HUH. Then again, I scoffed my way through Titanic!