"Don't do this - don't shut me out"

[lumy12]

*sigh* I wish A. would open up and talk to me about his mom. He's the type that will just keep doing the million things that need to be done rather than take the time to fall apart, esp. since his sisters are not handling her illness very well.

We've talked probably a total of 15 minutes over the past week. And I feel like I have nothing to say to him. He asks me what I've been up to, and I hesitate. He doesn't give a rat's ass about online stuff, so I don't talk to him about it. I did start gushing about my Halloween costume, then felt silly when this was met with silence. I'm sure he was thinking "God, how can she be excited about a stupid HALLOWEEN COSTUME? My mother might be DYING!" I apologized for babbling and told him I didn't mean to talk about trivial stuff, I just don't know what to say. Last night felt awkward, like I was talking to a stranger.

And it's more than just his mom. I feel like we're growing very distant again. I'm not even upset about it, I'm just.... accepting it as fact, I guess. I will always care about him and want him in my life, but it just doesn't make sense to me anymore that we're boyfriend/girlfriend. The only reason I haven't brought this stuff up is cuz of his mom. I'm waiting for HIM to bring it up, and will keep waiting, at least until this crisis passes.

Comments

[ascendingflame.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that... in my experience men just don't open up and talk. In the book I just read it said that this was natural and they need the time alone to sort out things for themselves. I just find it extremely hard to deal with that sort of behaviour.

Hope everything gets better soon *hugs*

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Yeah, men are like that, but I worry about him bottling everything up like he does. He knows I'm here if he wants to talk, but I'm happy to give him space too. *hugs back* :)

[chiss.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel, dude. It's extremely hard, sometimes. Communication in stressed relationships is tricky at best... good luck with ending it, I hope it goes smoothly and you two can remain at least on good terms. *hug*

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

More *hugs* yay!
Thanks - I'm not 100% sure I want to end it, I just really want to talk to him about what we want, where this is going (nowhere, right now), what we should do... and I know he has more important things to worry about at the moment so I'm leaving things at the status quo. I'm sure we'd be able to stay on good terms though :)

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that you did. I, personally, are of the opinion that ex-boyfriends should be tarred, feathered, drawn, and quartered. Then they should be tortured.