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Okay, so that's a wee bit dramatic. I'm not exactly waiting, I've been busy this week, but I do really wish Aaron would call. I haven't talked to him since Monday. Yup, that was 4 days ago, nearly 5. He was not interested in talking to me then either. Even my cute little jokes that usually make him chuckle didn't go over. Now, to be fair, he WAS sick. He may still be. But I wouldn't know. He hasn't called and he hasn't returned any of my calls.
I usually don't leave him messages, because it's really annoying to know that if his roommate gets it first he will erase it. That's fine for a "Hey this is Wendy call me back" kind of message, but I've left some really clever ones on there that he's never heard so I learned long ago not to do that. My number comes up on the caller ID so he knows I called and he'll call me back. Tonight, however, I had had enough of being ignored and I left a message that I think he will correctly interpret as meaning I'm annoyed. That was 2 hours ago, no call yet.
I thought about calling his mom, as they are very close and talk every day. She sometimes calls me to chat about stuff so it's not like it would be THAT strange for me to call her and ask about him. But I don't really want to put her in the middle of anything. Every time I start to maybe worry a little, I nix the thought by remembering that someone in his family would definitely call me if he were deathly ill or something.
Let's see, what other excuse could there be? He has laryngitis and can't talk - uhhhh, okay, that hasn't stopped him from calling me before just to mumble a few things in his raspy voice. And I know he hates the computer, but he could email me. He doesn't even read my emails so I stopped sending THOSE long ago as well. (I really could say anything about him on here and he'd never read it - I wish he would take interest in my journal, doesn't that seem like something a boyfriend would do?) Let's say his computer blew up and he can't get online - okay, couldn't he have his mom or his sister or even his roommate call me and let me know he's deathly ill with laryngitis?
You get my point. Anyway, then I begin to wonder if he's playing some game with me. That is really not like him, but he's surprised me in that area. The last time we had a fight and almost split up (right after Christmas), he told me some things he'd been keeping track of. Yes that has made me more self-conscious around him. You just don't do that with people. He had reason to be upset with me, but the way he addressed it didn't help matters.
This is really sad - I haven't even bought him anything for Valentine's day - for a couple reasons. #1, he hates all that shit. He really does. He doesn't even pretend to like it for my sake :( I suggested we not even do anything for each other at all for V-day and he agreed. How romantic we are, huh? #2 I can't help but wonder if we'll even be together on Valentine's day. The thought makes me tear up but then I stifle the sadness and retreat to my shell, where I've learned how to block out all kinds of pain. I'm so good at that now, it's a wonder there's any part of me left that can feel anything.
I'm really emotional right now.... maybe PMS, or maybe from switching meds.... that's right, my psycho pills. I haven't mentioned those before on here because only a few people know that I take them, but what the hell. I don't care who knows, I have nothing to hide. I'll tell any of you anything you ask, really. I've noticed one physical side effect of the switch, maybe there's some emotional ones as well that are harder to pinpoint.
Anyway, if you are reading this I would really love to know what your thoughts are. I will update you later after I finally talk to him. Maybe I'll laugh at everything I wrote and say "oh how silly, it's all good now!"
I can't help but wonder if he's finally figured out something I've known from the start but always pretend that I don't.... he's too good for me
I usually don't leave him messages, because it's really annoying to know that if his roommate gets it first he will erase it. That's fine for a "Hey this is Wendy call me back" kind of message, but I've left some really clever ones on there that he's never heard so I learned long ago not to do that. My number comes up on the caller ID so he knows I called and he'll call me back. Tonight, however, I had had enough of being ignored and I left a message that I think he will correctly interpret as meaning I'm annoyed. That was 2 hours ago, no call yet.
I thought about calling his mom, as they are very close and talk every day. She sometimes calls me to chat about stuff so it's not like it would be THAT strange for me to call her and ask about him. But I don't really want to put her in the middle of anything. Every time I start to maybe worry a little, I nix the thought by remembering that someone in his family would definitely call me if he were deathly ill or something.
Let's see, what other excuse could there be? He has laryngitis and can't talk - uhhhh, okay, that hasn't stopped him from calling me before just to mumble a few things in his raspy voice. And I know he hates the computer, but he could email me. He doesn't even read my emails so I stopped sending THOSE long ago as well. (I really could say anything about him on here and he'd never read it - I wish he would take interest in my journal, doesn't that seem like something a boyfriend would do?) Let's say his computer blew up and he can't get online - okay, couldn't he have his mom or his sister or even his roommate call me and let me know he's deathly ill with laryngitis?
You get my point. Anyway, then I begin to wonder if he's playing some game with me. That is really not like him, but he's surprised me in that area. The last time we had a fight and almost split up (right after Christmas), he told me some things he'd been keeping track of. Yes that has made me more self-conscious around him. You just don't do that with people. He had reason to be upset with me, but the way he addressed it didn't help matters.
This is really sad - I haven't even bought him anything for Valentine's day - for a couple reasons. #1, he hates all that shit. He really does. He doesn't even pretend to like it for my sake :( I suggested we not even do anything for each other at all for V-day and he agreed. How romantic we are, huh? #2 I can't help but wonder if we'll even be together on Valentine's day. The thought makes me tear up but then I stifle the sadness and retreat to my shell, where I've learned how to block out all kinds of pain. I'm so good at that now, it's a wonder there's any part of me left that can feel anything.
I'm really emotional right now.... maybe PMS, or maybe from switching meds.... that's right, my psycho pills. I haven't mentioned those before on here because only a few people know that I take them, but what the hell. I don't care who knows, I have nothing to hide. I'll tell any of you anything you ask, really. I've noticed one physical side effect of the switch, maybe there's some emotional ones as well that are harder to pinpoint.
Anyway, if you are reading this I would really love to know what your thoughts are. I will update you later after I finally talk to him. Maybe I'll laugh at everything I wrote and say "oh how silly, it's all good now!"
I can't help but wonder if he's finally figured out something I've known from the start but always pretend that I don't.... he's too good for me
