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I'm not a baby person
Mar. 28th, 2005 12:35 pmI've always been a little nervous holding babies. Some people are a natural at it - I'm not one of those people. I haven't been around babies very much in my lifetime (at least not where I am the one holding them). I babysat a baby a couple times during the summer when I was... 16, maybe? Eons ago.
Anyway, M brought her baby in to work to show us how much she's grown. She's 4 months old now, and soooooo adorable. I went out in the hallway to admire her, not to hold her, and R thrust her into my arms. I made the dumb joke about hoping I don't drop her - which, of course, I didn't - but after I held her for like 30 seconds she started squirming and R took her back from me. "Can't you see she wants to sit up?" he said. Now, I know he was totally joking, as he was teasing everyone who was talking to or holding the baby. But the uber-sensitive part of me was a little hurt. I wanted to point out that I didn't want to hold her in the first place, but that would have been kind of rude. And unnecessary.
That silly little incident started my brain spiraling down to thoughts like, "Well that's why I'm 31 and still don't have any kids" and "I'd never be able to take care of a baby in a million years." Who knows why people who don't have kids don't have them? I'm not sure I even WANT kids. I've left it up to God - I'm not going to run out on a mission to have a baby no matter what. With a boyfriend who doesn't believe in marriage, and my own desire not to have kids unless I AM married, the stork will not be visiting any time soon. (for more reasons than that, actually, but I won't go into all that here!) I do LIKE kids, and I wish there was a little one in my life I could take places and buy stuff for, at least. Guess I'll have to wait for my bro to start popping out kids... errrr, not exactly - you know what I mean!
Anyway, M brought her baby in to work to show us how much she's grown. She's 4 months old now, and soooooo adorable. I went out in the hallway to admire her, not to hold her, and R thrust her into my arms. I made the dumb joke about hoping I don't drop her - which, of course, I didn't - but after I held her for like 30 seconds she started squirming and R took her back from me. "Can't you see she wants to sit up?" he said. Now, I know he was totally joking, as he was teasing everyone who was talking to or holding the baby. But the uber-sensitive part of me was a little hurt. I wanted to point out that I didn't want to hold her in the first place, but that would have been kind of rude. And unnecessary.
That silly little incident started my brain spiraling down to thoughts like, "Well that's why I'm 31 and still don't have any kids" and "I'd never be able to take care of a baby in a million years." Who knows why people who don't have kids don't have them? I'm not sure I even WANT kids. I've left it up to God - I'm not going to run out on a mission to have a baby no matter what. With a boyfriend who doesn't believe in marriage, and my own desire not to have kids unless I AM married, the stork will not be visiting any time soon. (for more reasons than that, actually, but I won't go into all that here!) I do LIKE kids, and I wish there was a little one in my life I could take places and buy stuff for, at least. Guess I'll have to wait for my bro to start popping out kids... errrr, not exactly - you know what I mean!
