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"Hey, stranger!"
May. 29th, 2005 12:14 amAfter doing my routine housecleaning this morning, I had quite a lazy day. Didn't really feel like putting decent clothes and makeup on and going out to a bar 40 minutes away, but knew if I blew off this little shindig I would feel guilty - and I truly did want to see Z, so I made myself get up and go. As always when this happens (faced with the dilemma of being a lazyass hermit or being social), I was glad I went. Had an enjoyable time, chatting with a couple of old friends and meeting a few cool new people. Even got to share my Star Wars/Hayden obsession a little.
But the night was not without weirdness. When I first arrived, I hadn't even entered the bar yet when I heard "Hey, stranger!" - there were other people around but somehow I knew this voice was calling to me. It registered somewhere. I turned around, didn't recognize the source of the voice... until he took off his sunglasses. Holy shit - it was my ex-fiance, a man I hadn't seen in 8 years. I think I smiled politely and said something lame like "gee it's been a long time" - I don't even recall. I had no idea there was even a chance he might be at this little party. We were civil to each other, but not overly friendly, no hugging or personal talk at all. He showed me where Z's table was and we spent the remainder of the evening at opposite ends of the party. I thought that once I had a little alcohol in me I might venture over to talk to him, but he was with his step-daughter and step-grandkids (don't ask!) and I just never got up the nerve - they left before too long, probably because of the kids.
So much time has passed since the ugly end to our relationship... I truly felt nothing when I recognized him. No hatred, no love, just nothing. So him greeting me as "stranger" certainly was appropriate. How strange that it could be so, when once upon a time this was the man I was going to spend forever with. I'm still tripping about that part.
I'm glad I took care with my appearance, I will admit that. Does that count as caring? I guess on a very shallow level.
Stranger. Go figure.
But the night was not without weirdness. When I first arrived, I hadn't even entered the bar yet when I heard "Hey, stranger!" - there were other people around but somehow I knew this voice was calling to me. It registered somewhere. I turned around, didn't recognize the source of the voice... until he took off his sunglasses. Holy shit - it was my ex-fiance, a man I hadn't seen in 8 years. I think I smiled politely and said something lame like "gee it's been a long time" - I don't even recall. I had no idea there was even a chance he might be at this little party. We were civil to each other, but not overly friendly, no hugging or personal talk at all. He showed me where Z's table was and we spent the remainder of the evening at opposite ends of the party. I thought that once I had a little alcohol in me I might venture over to talk to him, but he was with his step-daughter and step-grandkids (don't ask!) and I just never got up the nerve - they left before too long, probably because of the kids.
So much time has passed since the ugly end to our relationship... I truly felt nothing when I recognized him. No hatred, no love, just nothing. So him greeting me as "stranger" certainly was appropriate. How strange that it could be so, when once upon a time this was the man I was going to spend forever with. I'm still tripping about that part.
I'm glad I took care with my appearance, I will admit that. Does that count as caring? I guess on a very shallow level.
Stranger. Go figure.
