"Which one are you supposed to be, Kenobi or Skywalker?"

[lumy12]

(I like that part of the RotS novel, so I'm using it as a title, cuz I can)

I gave up the No Slacking at Work resolution long ago. But I'm not entirely comfortable with that decision. Can I get away with it? Yes of course. No one watches what I do. They don't need to, I work fairly independently and I always get my work done. But I went from only slacking when I had nothing to do, to slacking when I had mostly everything done (except non-essential stuff like filing), to slacking pretty much whenever the urge strikes me. Which is quite often, and sometimes falls on my crunch days, even. I try to keep it to RP only, which isn't so bad if I'm in only one thread and the person isn't posting at the speed of lightning (or if I only refresh the page every 20 minutes or so, but I usually don't do that, I go back to it every few minutes). My guilt has also lessened considerably as time goes by. I don't feel guilty now unless someone makes a comment about how hard I work.

There's more I should be doing here. For one thing, I need to detail the payroll process out in case I need to suddenly take time off - like when A.'s mom passes away. I love being the only person here who knows how to get us all paid. It's like extra job security. But it's not right that this is so. My boss should actually demand that I do this, actually. Of course if I get hit by a truck tomorrow, people will somehow muggle through everything and do what they have to do with assistance from our parent company. It's not rocket science. But I hate the thought of people doing my job, and anything I can to help them do it better should the need arise is going to help me as much as it does them. (unless I die, cuz then, I really won't care how bad they mess up, I won't be coming back to it!)

Even now, I sit here typing this journal entry instead of working. Am I a horrible person? I think this means I am! It's not like I'm disgruntled, or that I don't enjoy my job. I'm just horribly addicted to slacking. I tell myself "I will not go on LJ all day" and then don't even make it 'til lunchtime. What's wrong with me? I thought I was better than this, that I was a good employee and a hard worker. I used to work my ass off. Now I don't even do that when piles of work are staring me in the face. It makes no difference how much work I have, I will slack.

Do I want to get caught, and disciplined? (They won't fire me without warning for this, I've been here 6 years. And everyone likes me. And no one else knows my job, even my boss) Will that make me stop? I feel like the alkie who says "I can stop any time" but is lying, though he may not be aware that he is. I have no will to stop. I guess I feel somewhat guilty or I wouldn't be posting this, but the guilt doesn't stop me the way it used to. Gah!!!!

Thoughts, ideas, advice?

Comments

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I know you get on here at work, but only when time permits - like waiting for your stuff to mesh or whatever the technical term is :) I'm going to be good today, because I have to. Cuz I've slacked my way into another hole, time-wise, but eh - I'll get everything done, I always do!

[nelliedrum.livejournal.com]

You seem like you get the work done, and no one has caught you are gotten upset at you.
Don't feel too bad if you have nothing to do and you go to LJ. But if you have way too much to do and feel guilty about going online, there is a reason you feel guilty.

Don't let it worry you. And don't feel too guilty. Just get the work done and if you have time for other things, then great. Just figure out a balance.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Yeah that's the tough part - balance!!!! I need to tip the balance more towards work while I'm at work. It's not like I'm never online at home, cuz I am. That should be enough. *sigh*

[kevthejedi.livejournal.com]

I'm in exactly the same situation as you. Exactly. I think I'm addicted. I'll have to start punishing myself if I don't stop slacking, like stabbing hot needles under my fingernails.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Hey I can help punish you - I could comment with the lovely AssBack Mountain pic, or Hayden without his shirt on, yum... I'll be nice now though and give you pink-haired Nat. Slackers unite!!!

[kevthejedi.livejournal.com]

Thanks, but I think I'd rather stick with the needles under the fingernails!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

I have been spending too much time online at work lately as well, although really that amounts to my email, and cnn, and msnbc, and factcheck.org and...huh...nevermind.

My bigger issue is getting things done at HOME because I'm online too much. I need to make a to do list for home and check at least one thing off each night. Some small project that never makes it on a posted today list yet still needs doing.

I'll start right after the election, and nanowrimo and I finish my Christmas shopping.

Sounds like a plan, don't you think???

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

You're so cute.

"I'll get stuff done in 2009, really!"

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Yeah, 2009 will be a much more productive year...really. Just like you're going to stop being a slacker at work! (Me too for that matter! LOL)

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to stop slacking, but I do need to not get on the internet all the time. I'm much better than I used to be (today notwithstanding!). I don't have quite enough work to not slack... but I'm sure not going to mention that to anyone!