"Miss them, do not."

[lumy12]

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I 12 years old? When did that happen?

I'm so immature sometimes it astounds me. At least I have the good sense not to procreate, right?

On an unrelated note... I miss my theatre. I haven't visited there in a long time - I only know a few people there and I'm not close to any of them. And I've certainly used my fair share of free movies for this lifetime. Just writing an RP scene about my character hanging out on the roof of the Jedi Temple made me nostalgic for my roof at this theatre, my favorite little nook of it especially. Sure, we used to go up there and drink smoke pot hang out - that wasn't in my SPOT though. The spot was for thinking, plotting, crying. I want to go up there now and just let the memories flood me. Reading my old journals accomplishes this sometimes too, but I still long to sit in my spot. And I'll probably never see it again. It would be a little strange to go visit people and say, "Hey, mind if I go sit on the roof for an hour?" - and I can't sneak up there cuz I no longer have those keys. I've done semi-psychotic things up there too. I was a troubled youth/20-something. It was okay then. I'm too old for that stuff now.

Why must I do this to myself? I'm generally a pretty happy person. Why do I want to wallow in the past, when even the happy memories make me sad?

A. is here today, for business reasons, not to see me or anything. When I got up this morning he was asleep on my couch. I don't know what time he got in. And I don't know if he went to the couch because he didn't want to disturb me or because he figured we shouldn't sleep in the same bed anymore. Maybe both. But we've shared a bed plenty of times during the "just friends" part of our relationship. Hmmm.

I want to see Madonna in concert - they added another concert date here because the first one sold out so fast (I tried and failed to get tickets) but I bet the second one sells out just as fast. I will try again, and probably fail again. It's like you have to know someone to get tickets. Or be incredibly lucky.

Comments

[kevthejedi.livejournal.com]

Tickets - In my experience there's no such thing as luck.

Use the Force! *waves hand at teller* You want to give me Mad Donna tickets.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Heh. Hopefully my friend who is incredibly lucky at winning concert tickets off the radio wins these and takes me. I'll start dropping hints now. I guess he's not LUCKY though, he just has better Force powers than I do?

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

Yep, the force is with your friend...:D. As for the A thing, well yeah things are different now, a different energy and relationship. It's going to take a while to settle into the 'just friends' thing again, you'll be just friends and ex's forevermore now.
My first girlfriend and I are best buddies now and could easily share a bed no funny business or energy, but a more recent ex and I would not be able to NO WAY (and by 'recent' I mean 2 1/2 years...my love life being somewhat Sahara like :/.)
I believe it will all settle down in time and that you will have a richer friendship after having time together as boyfriend and girlfriend :).

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

Thanks :). Credit goes to
_grandma_death_ she(or he) made a bunch of assorted icons recently, including other SW,
though I can't remember where they were posted...

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

lol @ your icon!

We've been through this before - and it wasn't until he had met someone else that he was interested in that we stopped sharing a bed. Maybe that's happened already? I hope so. I would feel less guilty about... stuff. I just don't want to hear about it right away!

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

Thanks it's by _grandma_death_. Yeah, I wouldn't want to hear about the possible meeting other people thing yet either, though if it's for the best I hope he has and reveals at a later date...and that you end up with either ten more cats/Hayden/whatever you desire :) *hugs*

[kevthejedi.livejournal.com]

It is the will of the force

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Ugh - do I want to write about myself? Don't I do that enough between my "real" journal and this journal? I'll check it out though. Force knows I need to join another community *snort*

It wasn't really random. He was supposed to come down this weekend but couldn't make it. He did call me last night to say he'd probably start driving down soon but probably wouldn't get here before I left for work. He still has a lot of his stuff here and I don't mind him leaving it here, nor do I mind him showing up here whenever. He and my bro are allowed in my house whenever they want.

[sanestlunatic.livejournal.com]

I thought about doing that, but then I realized that I'm incapable of being...not bitter and self-deprecating. And although, according to the stupid essays I'm being forced to read this term, self-deprecation is an important part of the personal essay, I don't think that anybody needs to read it in such ginormous quantities.

[dreadpiratekurt.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I miss the theatre, too. Even the coyotes in the parking lot. Things were simpler then.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

*huggly-wuggly* Awwww - yeah, I want to go back and visit and somehow see YOU there! But you're not there! Eeek!

Things were simpler, but there was always TEH DRAMAH anyway. Good times.

[sanestlunatic.livejournal.com]

*offers more e-hugs* Ugh, I'm tired to the point where I'm typing like I'm drunk. NOT DRUNK. I saw someone pass out from alcohol poisoning at 7:30 AM, and another person with a fractured arm (though I'm not sure whether she had that already, or if she got it from the mudpit).

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

*more cootie-free hugs back* Sheesh. I wonder if they did have that day when I was in school and I didn't realize it?

[sanestlunatic.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'd certainly hope you would've noticed class being called off for a day and everybody running around the campus drunk. Now there's drunken karaoke, too. *turns up her music*

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

The thought of Madonna in concert makes me melancholy too ;)

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

I

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

think

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

you

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

need

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

to

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

get

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

a

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

part-time

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

job

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

at

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

your

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

theater.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

I might consider it if they were hiring! They pretty much run the place on NO staff now. It's gone way down hill.

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Awww, then you shouldn't go there so you have your memories!!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

You'd only want to benefit from watching free movies!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

And now they're closed anyway ;_; Or maybe they were already when I wrote the first comment? Who knows!

Finally, my Palpatine iconage!

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Oh Dear, they're closing a piece of your youth down??? How dare they!?

[notfromajedi.livejournal.com]

At least I got to see it one more time!
And oh crap, wrong journal. LOL

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Don't go confusing me with the wrong journal!!!!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Yeah you might freak out thinking someone ELSE was responding to you! THEY'RE ON TO YOU

Whew, all caught up. I'll leave you with this, my oldest icon! *drool*

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

You're a prophet!! Someone else DID respond to these old comments tonight!!!!!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

That made me gasp as well! Could she have been tracking that post???

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

Ok, now MY inbox is cleared out of all the comments you left me today. I'm going to go do a bit of straightening up for my closing tomorrow. I made the mistake of looking up and saw a HUGE spider web that must come down!!!!!!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Ewwww spiders!

My inbox is almost clear again. This makes me feel productive with my laziness!