Ping

[lumy12]

Title: Ping
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters: Anakin & Padmé
Prompt: albumsontheside's request: Viet!Anakin + failure. I'm also going to apply it to my fanfic50 prompt #5 - Down.
Word Count: 233
Rating: PG
Summary: The effects of war stretch far.
Author's Notes: The first of my handwritten "hiatus" drabbles ♥ I will type them up and post them slowly over the next few weeks -- in the order written, because I'm just that anal.



Ping.

It wasn't exactly the same sound; it didn't have to be. He was back on the battleground -- this time without his lightsaber! Why wasn't he wearing it? Where had he left it? There was no time to search -- another, more accurate shot could follow the first.

"Get down!"

He couldn't lose any more men here. Each loss penetrated his psyche as personal failure. They trusted him, oh how they trusted him! Even though he couldn't sense the sniper, nor any other droids; they had no detectable Force presence.

One trooper didn't obey his command. Stood there, frozen in place -- paralyzed with fear? (Did clones feel fear after all?) He swiftly reached over to grab the soldier's arm and pull him down. But instead of armor, his hand gripped soft flesh...

"Ani?"

Oh Force -- what was Padmé doing out here?!

The ground was hard and had a sterile feel to it. Too smooth to be...

"Ani, come back to me. You're having another flashback. It's all right. We're safe." Voice soft, hand gentle.

He blinked and they were sprawled on Padmé's kitchen floor, a package of blumfruit muffins in disarray nearby. Some were mostly intact...others were completely crumbled, their shattered remains littering the landscape. The varying degrees of imperfection blended together.

"We're safe." He repeated the lie blandly. For her sake.

She smiled, no doubt thinking he'd come back.

Comments

[frostbit-sky.livejournal.com]

:( This breaks my heart.
You captured his fear and PDSD well.

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *mends broken heart*

[albumsontheside.livejournal.com]

Damn. this was amazing and well-written and well-portrayed aaaand ... damn.
Thank you so much for this, hun :)

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Aww thanks, I'm glad you like it!

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Thank you! <333 I hoped you would like it -- you are The Queen of FUBAR!Anakin stories, after all ♥

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Yours will be next, actually! And it comes with a visual aid if I can find one!

[caffeinatedkate.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was good. I had to read it a couple of times to get that the "ping" was the microwave or something setting him off (slow today).

I'm looking forward to seeing these gradually posted, something to read over the coming weeks. :)

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I struggled with the sound effect... and left it vague deliberately. I could hear the sniper shot sound in my head and... yeah, it could be a microwave (though not "ding"-y)...or the seal on the package...I think of it like a rubber band whooshy sound. But more zingy. *fails at sound effects* Anyway I decided it doesn't really matter what the sound is, exactly, just that it was a non-war-environment one!

I'm proud that I actually have all but one of them written, and I have a vague idea for the remaining one so I'm in good shape.

I must counter your icon with a MUCH BETTER ONE :P

[luminations.livejournal.com]

And I love hearing what other people imagine! Yay for vagueness!

Your icon is win. I COULD post another Palpakin icon but I'm posting this as my default while I switch accounts so I'd have to go log out/log in... oh hey I should just edit it. Yeah!

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Didn't you already write that? Heh, I think you wrote something with them that could POSSIBLY be interpreted as slashy and said that's as close as you get :)

[emavalexis.livejournal.com]

Ah, God, Wendy. So much emotion packed in this! Anakin lying for Padmé's sake just breaks my heart, too.

You really captured what seems like a completely plausible mindset for Anakin given his experiences in the war. :( So well done.

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Thank you! <3 Glad you find it plausible. I got inspired after reading a novel that included someone suffering from PTSD.

[ansketil-rose.livejournal.com]

You're back with typing skills! YAY! ^___^ And this was so interesting. I particularly liked the last line - so tragic. And the muffins standing in for a shattered battlefield, shattered lives... very good stuff!

[luminations.livejournal.com]

YUSSSSSS <333

Thank you! Glad you likey! And I see you posted something delicious for me to read for dessert tonight!

[yenneffer.livejournal.com]

Perfect, real PTSD. I love those war flashbacks! And the ending? Pretending everything is all right... *shudders* Poor Anakin. He had no chance against Palpatine's plottings with that state of mind.
Thanks for writing,
Yen

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I had recently read about another (completely unrelated) fictional character with PTSD and was inspired. And you're right, Anakin was Palpatine's to manipulate at will...have you read the RotS novelization? I really like how it stresses the fact that Anakin wasn't sleeping or eating and was pretty much a zombie towards the end there. So vulnerable to a predator like Palpatine (who, of course, had counted on such things! Evil bastard).

[yenneffer.livejournal.com]

*does a conga dance* And here I thought I was the only one who noticed it... Yes, I loved how Stover stressed the fact of Anakin not sleeping or eating- and in result, not thinking clearly.
And Palpatine- as an evil manipulator he was- used it to his agenda. What really surprised me- and angered me a little- was that Jedi- and esp Obi-wan- haven't noticed the fact. He was vulnerable, he was almost crumbling- and no one noticed? Jedi really were blind. And Palpatine was just his usual charming self ;)

And as for commenting- it's only just, right? An author delivers goods, and we repay by leaving some feedback or words of appreciation. Everyone is happy.

I really like PTSD fics. They have sth twisted and fascinating in them!

[luminations.livejournal.com]

Oh you noticed too - awesomesauce!!

Yeah, the Jedi failed so hard with Anakin. Not to completely exonerate Anakin -- he is still responsible for his actions -- but no one did anything to help him deal, either.

You have a great attitude about commenting :) If more people felt that way, more good works would be produced, methinks.

[yenneffer.livejournal.com]

Yessss

Nah, I'm not exonerating him- though I feel the Jedi Order needed a strong shake they got. Did them some good ;)
Palpatine should be viewd as saviour by the Jedi, imo. He showed them new horizons, and his input into new Jedi Order is unquestionable :P

Nope, no one. They actually made it harder for him. I loved the line from ROTS novelisation: Do you think if you asked me to spy on you that I'd have done this for him? (or sth similar, I'm not English, so there might have been sth changed during translation)
I just loved the image how they were slowly- and actually inadvertently- destroying him. Excellent.

Do I? I used to offer cookies at one point, too, but authors are generally greedy and I don't do it any longer :P
But methinks youthinking is good ;) More reviews= more goodies

[luminations.livejournal.com]

That quote you mentioned sounds about right. As a diehard Palpakin shipper I looooove all those conversations Palps & Anakin had in the novel... would have loved to see more of that in the movie! Ah, time constraints.

*GOBBLES YOUR COOKIES EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE NONE*