Writer's Block: If Animals Could Talk

[lumy12]

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(warning: my answer is sad and trigger-y)

I would ask Pants how much pain she's in, and if she's ready to go. Yesterday was the first day I started thinking "Now might be the time" but I still have doubts. People say "you'll know" -- well, I don't know for sure, does that mean it's not time? Or that I'm not ready to let her go?

I thought I was. I've accepted that she's dying, I haven't even cried about it in weeks -- until yesterday.

I wish I knew what she wanted. She's not making her wishes as clear to me as Bailey did.

Bailey died a month and two days before his 11th birthday. If I put Pants to sleep this week, it will be about a month before her 15th birthday. Kind of a strange coincidence.

ETA: Thank you for your comments. I made an appointment to put her down tomorrow (Tuesday). :(

Comments

[gizzi1213.livejournal.com]

I think you need to let her condition dictate your decision and you did just tell me she's looking bad and having trouble walking. Plus, she seems to have stopped eating. It's hard, believe me I know, I've been here too, but it's best to put Pants to sleep BEFORE she's really suffering or uncomfortable.

{{HUGGLES}}

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thank you, I know you know how it feels :(

[jedinemo.livejournal.com]

This is always a tough decision. I've been through it with my own animals, and also trying to help friends or clients decide (I'm a registered veterinary technician).

Most of the time, you're trying to assess their quality of life: Are they able/willing to do their usual activities? Are they eating? Is their usual personality/level of interaction still there?

Things that might say it's time: Not eating, even their favorite treats. Withdrawing from interaction with you or the other kitties. Not wanting to get up or staying in one place all the time.

And the thing is, you can't be too hard on yourself about picking the exact time. Dying is a process, with a gradient of decline. If in your heart of hearts you thought it was time and there was actually a day or two left beyond that, she will not hold that against you. Animals live in the moment. She knows that you love her and are acting for her.

*hugs*

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

If in your heart of hearts you thought it was time and there was actually a day or two left beyond that, she will not hold that against you

That's good to think of it that way. It's impossible to know what day she'll die if I do nothing, and I don't want her to suffer just because I'm a wuss.

She stopped eating her wet food on Monday, but she was still drinking. Now I don't even see her do that, though it appears that she tries. She tends to sit by the kitty fountain with her chin on the edge. Maybe she likes the sound of the water? She's having some difficulty walking, but she still moves around a lot and comes to sit on my lap. The vets said it wouldn't be the cancer that ends up killing her, it would be starvation -- what a horrible death, I don't want her to die like that. :(

*hugs back*

[frostbit-sky.livejournal.com]

Aww this is heart breaking.

The comments above me sound like good advice so I don't know what else I could add.
*hugs* for you and Pants

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Thank you ♥
*hugs back*

[caffeinatedkate.livejournal.com]

Poor Pants, I'm so sorry to hear this, I thought she might improve. :(

If she's stopped eating, she can't be comfortable.
She had a great life, though and you're continuing to give a great life to three other cats so try not to feel too bad about doing the right thing.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I don't know who Snickers is gonna attach herself to now...she likes older kitties, and there aren't any left that are older than her. Poor baby.

[zigsternenstaub.livejournal.com]

This is such a terribly difficult decision. You feel guilty because you feel that this is a decision that your pet should be able to have some say in, but euthanasia has always been a human prerogative, not an animal one. In the wild, the animal would suffer until it became too weak to survive. Here, because your animal has no natural enemies, it's up to you to know when enough is enough, because either way your animal cannot tell you anything.

You're in an advantageous position, actually, because you alone are making the decision. Too often if a family shares an animal, the one who finally suggests or insists on a beloved pet being put down is blamed and resented, or somehow demonised. But you've kept your animal alive for a very long time. You know that if you do have her put to sleep, it won't be because you're tired of taking care of her, but because it is truly for her own comfort.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Thank you -- yes, I do feel guilty, even though now I know she's suffering. I think she might have been trying to tell me so this morning, she was acting really bizarre.

Yeah, that's true, it's always just me making these awful decisions... at least the only one who can blame me is me. And since I was told it wouldn't be the actual cancer that kills her, but rather, she would starve to death... that's just such a torturous way to die, I can't imagine watching her deteriorate that much and not doing anything about it. She's already so frail and weak :(