CYOA Page 252
Sep. 10th, 2013 02:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12As much as you really want to make Joel feel as good as he's made you feel (if that's even possible), he's told you over and over again that he doesn't want you to. You can't disrespect his wishes.
That... plus you're scared shitless of pissing him off!
You carefully fold the covers back over him... but not his entire leg, because you do think he left it that way on purpose. You know he didn't let his dick (halfway) out on purpose.
You decide against going outside because, unlike Joel, you would have to put some clothes on first, and you don't want to do that until Joel declares it time to go (well, you suppose you wouldn't have to, but you're sure it's still cold out there). The longer you stay nearly-naked, the better your chances of having a little more fun before heading out! You slip back under the covers and tuck yourself against Joel with your back to him, because sometimes that makes him...
...yep! He rolls over into the spooning position. And he stops snoring.
Oh man... did I wake him up? You probably did, because it wasn't that long ago that he changed position; he wouldn't do it again so soon.
"Joel," you whisper so faintly that you almost don't even hear yourself.
His face is buried in your hair. "Mm."
"Are you awake?" you ask a little louder.
"No."
"Oh, good -- me either," you giggle.
He snakes his arm around to hug you closer... and to grope your boobs, possibly -- so you put your hand over his to keep it in place there, noting with amusement that he's shifted around to avoid poking you with his morning boner. It's a torso hug, not a full-body hug.
"Mornin'," he murmurs.
"Good morning. Isn't this nice?"
"Mm."
"We should wake up naked together every day," you declare.
"We ain't naked."
"Pfff. Close enough."
"You didn't get cold?"
"Under two blankets and next to a human furnace? Nope! Did you sleep okay?"
"Not bad, considerin'. Better than the first night."
"Me, too. But I think that has more to do with... uh..."
"...pre-sleep activities?"
"Yeah. Those. It's not like it's exhausting, but it just like... makes me feel really relaxed, I guess?"
"You did seem real... satisfied, after."
"I was. Still am." ...Oops... "Er-- I mean... not that I don't need to do it again..."
"Need to, huh?" He kisses your shoulder. "We gotta get goin', so hopefully you don' need it too bad."
"Not as bad as you do," you tease, trying not to giggle too much.
"I'm good."
"Liar," you whisper.
"What? I'm good," he insists.
You wriggle your butt until it makes contact with Joel's groin. "This would say otherwise..."
"Damn. Can't hide nothin' from you."
"Not when you're asleep, you can't. It's okay. You know I don't care. I like it, even."
"Can't imagine why."
"Just cuz you don't like feeling dicks poking you..."
"Dicks? Plural?"
"A dick. I guess I wouldn't like multiple ones either... unless they were all yours, of course."
He chuckles. "I get myself in enough trouble just havin' the one."
"Yeah... if one is torture, you'd be in agony having more."
"It ain't like torture-torture," he says, nuzzling your neck. "I told you. It's the fun kind."
"But not as fun as... I wish you'd let me take care of that for you," you sigh. "The way you take care of me."
"I'm s'posed to take care of you. Not the other way around."
"No -- that was before. When you were my dad."
"I'm still--" He stops short.
...my dad? I don't think so! But you know he still has those feelings. Like, the romantic stuff just grew on top of them, and now they're all a big jumbled mess. You suppose the same thing happened to you... you just don't equate those initial feelings with daughterhood the same way Joel equates his with fatherhood. "Joel... it's okay. Love is love. You know? And... you're doing a really good job of it," you reassure him.
"That's 'cause you're real easy to love. Thank you... for puttin' up with me. With all my shit."
Awww! Why is he being all sappy? You turn your head and nuzzle his cheek. "There's nothing to put up with. ...mostly."
"Mostly?" he chuckles.
"I mean... you make me happy," you say simply.
"You make me happy, too."
EXCEPT... "Just not in the one way that--"
"I don't care about that. I like the way things are."
"Yeah right," you chortle.
"I do. It's like we're... takin' our time, doin' things right. Courtship... not sex."
"Courtship?" You wrinkle your nose. "Is that one of those weird romantic words you like?"
"It ain't so much that I like it... it just came to mind. You know, in the real old days -- long before my time -- a guy could court a girl for years an' not even kiss her."
"What? That's fucked up. Don't tell me you'd rather--"
"No, no. Like I said -- I like the way things are. Kissin' included."
"Good. Man... I'm glad I didn't live in those times."
"Mm... I still wish I could take you back to the 2000s. Maybe the late 90s."
"Um... when you were a teenager?!" You don't actually believe he ever was one, though...
"Well, if you're your current age, I'd reckon I'd be mine, too." He snorts. "I would not subject you to teenage-me."
"Aww, but I bet you were so cute," you giggle, reaching up to pinch his cheek.
"Hardly." He rolls onto his back again, and you roll all the way over to face him.
"Don't get up yet!"
"We really should--"
"Five more minutes. Please?" You're already settling into the crook of his arm.
"All right." He kisses the top of your head. "Ellie... I really am... grateful. That you're willin' to... sacrifice so much, to do--"
"I'm not sacrificing anything," you remind him patiently, knowing what he's referring to. "There's no one else I want to be with! I don't care that we have to hide it, can't go out in public together like... kissing and stuff..." Except... does Outside count as public?!
"You do care, to some extent. I know it's hard on you. I said I like the way things are... but I do wish I could fix that part."
" 'Fix' it?"
"Yes. To show you... that I ain't ashamed of you. Of us."
...Except he sort of IS... But you say, "I know you're not." Because you do believe the shame is solely related to your age, and not you as a person.
"You don't know that. Not really. All you've got is my word. My actions... say otherwise."
"Well... your word counts for a lot?"
"If you were my daughter an' you told me you were seein' this guy who never wanted to take you out..."
You roll your eyes. "You do... 'take me out.' We go all over town together! And jeez -- look where we are now. How much more out can you take me?!"
"You know what I mean. I'd tell you a guy like that... is bad news."
"Okay... what if he likes to sleep together... naked?" You grin at him. "No sex, just sleep. But naked."
"Also bad news."
"But why? Don't you think it's sweet that he--"
"He's takin' advantage. Prob'ly touchin' you an' shit."
"Well... what if I like it when he does? What if it's the most amazing--"
"He's a sick bastard who shouldn't be touchin' my baby girl."
You giggle at how serious he looks. Wait... "Joel, you're just messing with me, right? You don't really think..."
He lets a small smile surface, and you relax. "I am an' I ain't. I'm jus' sorry things have to be--"
"You have nothing to be sorry for! Fuck. ...Other than not letting me... you know." You'll give him that one!
"I'll make it up to you when you turn eighteen."
"Yeah you will," you smirk.
"I don' mean like that." He snorts. "But... that, too, I s'pose. I do appreciate... you waitin'. You've been real mature about all that."
"I have?!" You don't think of whiny as a trait indicative of maturity...
"Mmhmm. I know you don't understand my reasons... for waitin'... but you don't push. You're... considerate."
"Where is all this coming from?" you wonder out loud; Joel isn't normally one to spew his feelings. Especially unprompted!
He chuckles. "I don' know. After you fell asleep last night, I was just thinkin'... tryin' to put myself in your shoes. An' I don' know if I'd handle it as well as you have."
"...Really?!"
"Yes. You're pretty amazin', kiddo."
You blush furiously. "Whatever," you mumble, inwardly gleeful that he actually believes that shit!
"You are. Someday you're gonna believe it."
...What the fuck did I even do?! I let him go down on me -- oh wow that's just SO hard to do, how did I ever manage it! And then I just went to sleep without returning the favor, like a selfish asshole. Except I'm NOT selfish -- because I offered -- so I don't even have to feel guilty! Yeah, that's real tough. I MUST be amazing.
You decide he must be referring to the whole deal, not just last night.
You're very glad now that you didn't take advantage of him earlier. Joel thinks you're mature for considering his feelings. For putting his desires above your own. And, well... the fact is, you love him -- making him happy makes you happy. Whatever you guys do or don't do sexually... is irrelevant, as long as you're making his life better, the way he makes yours better.
You do feel mature, thinking of it that way. Ignoring the insecurities that fuel your desire to please him, in favor of the good feelings -- because you do also have a genuine desire to see him happy.
But... still. You can't help wondering: what would have happened if you'd gone through with the blow job? Maybe you'll ask him someday. Like, years from now, once he's cool with everything and you've done every sex act imaginable. You wonder if he would tell you the truth.
Mostly, though? While he lays there, oblivious, thinking about how mature and thoughtful and special you are... you wonder what his dick tastes like.
If you'd like to start another adventure, return to page 1.
Carlos
Date: 2021-05-28 06:02 am (UTC)Re: Carlos
Date: 2021-05-28 01:34 pm (UTC)