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lumy12I wasn't going to watch this movie (a Lifetime original that premiered Monday). The previews didn't draw me in because they seemed aimed at mothers. I do love Debra Winger, though, so that was a plus. I've been hearing previews for this movie for over a month now - and quite often, given how often I leave Lifetime on the TV as background noise. I figured I'd catch it some other time.
I realized that even though I knew the lines of the preview by heart, I didn't really know what the movie was about, so I hit the "info" button on the remote... and then I was hooked. This was a true story about the mother of a student killed during the Columbine massacre. You would never know that by the preview, though. It came on too late for me to watch so I taped it, and watched it last night.
Part of me wishes I didn't know, because I can imagine the shock other viewers felt at the point where it was revealed that Columbine was the school (if the 4/20/99 date mentioned towards the end didn't clue them in). Of course, had I not known, I wouldn't have watched.... By the end I was bawling. I was alone so I had that luxury. This girl was a beautiful, sweet, smart, spirited 18-year-old with so much to live for. What especially touched me was her love for animals. It makes me so angry that this wonderful person was taken from the planet. I can't even imagine the rage and the pain of the families of such victims. How does anyone survive such a loss?
Then I felt something I've heard called "survivor's guilt" - similar to how I felt after September 11. I thought, why am I here when this amazing person is not? Why, God, do you keep little old me here but take away the shining stars? She would have been a veterinarian or a marine biologist or something - and I happily work at a dead-end job where I feel secure. She would have gotten married and had beautiful kids - and I live alone with 4 cats, quite content to live selfishly for myself alone. I wonder, if I had died when I was as young as this girl, would people be thinking the same things of me? "It's such a shame, she had such a bright future ahead of her..." not realizing that I would go on to do nothing special in the "future" department.
I'm not going to make drastic changes or anything based on my emotional reaction to this movie. I'm just saying it's food for thought.
I realized that even though I knew the lines of the preview by heart, I didn't really know what the movie was about, so I hit the "info" button on the remote... and then I was hooked. This was a true story about the mother of a student killed during the Columbine massacre. You would never know that by the preview, though. It came on too late for me to watch so I taped it, and watched it last night.
Part of me wishes I didn't know, because I can imagine the shock other viewers felt at the point where it was revealed that Columbine was the school (if the 4/20/99 date mentioned towards the end didn't clue them in). Of course, had I not known, I wouldn't have watched.... By the end I was bawling. I was alone so I had that luxury. This girl was a beautiful, sweet, smart, spirited 18-year-old with so much to live for. What especially touched me was her love for animals. It makes me so angry that this wonderful person was taken from the planet. I can't even imagine the rage and the pain of the families of such victims. How does anyone survive such a loss?
Then I felt something I've heard called "survivor's guilt" - similar to how I felt after September 11. I thought, why am I here when this amazing person is not? Why, God, do you keep little old me here but take away the shining stars? She would have been a veterinarian or a marine biologist or something - and I happily work at a dead-end job where I feel secure. She would have gotten married and had beautiful kids - and I live alone with 4 cats, quite content to live selfishly for myself alone. I wonder, if I had died when I was as young as this girl, would people be thinking the same things of me? "It's such a shame, she had such a bright future ahead of her..." not realizing that I would go on to do nothing special in the "future" department.
I'm not going to make drastic changes or anything based on my emotional reaction to this movie. I'm just saying it's food for thought.
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Date: 2008-07-13 12:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:56 am (UTC)I would post that except I never do it when it goes around.
Good job on your project - I'll either help you or drive you crazy by replying to a bunch of these tomorrow. Hee.