(no subject)

[lumy12]

I SO don’t have time to be on LJ right now. But… I need to vent. Feel free to skip if you’re busy or whatever. It’s a subject I believe I’ve ranted on in the past.

I know I’m PMSing right now and I’m going to blame my current self-pitying desire to burst into tears on that.

A girl at work just got engaged over the weekend. Of course we all hovered around her, admired the ring, heard the story… it’s just about the most romantic proposal I’ve ever heard of. (No, I’m not going to retell it here. It made all us women tear up, though) She’s this petite, pretty 24-year-old. And I’m sooooo jealous.

Argh. Why? I don’t want to get married. I DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED. I know this. Just because part of me longs for what she has doesn’t mean I want that. I’m not cut out for it. Unless I find an older guy who’s lost interest in sex, but with Viagra and stuff now even that is more and more unlikely. And yes, as I hinted at not so long ago on here, I do get horny from time to time – but it certainly isn’t often enough to keep a husband/boyfriend happy. And I really don’t desire marriage enough to put up with having sex when I don’t feel like it. I’m sorry, I just don’t.

So I want the flowers and romance and those once-in-a-lifetime marriage proposal moments. But I’m beyond all that now. I had my shot. Instead of a fairy-tale romantic proposal, I got a semi-drunken teary proposal just after nearly being forced into unwanted sex. Such is life. (Sorry if you’re reading my “playground” entries and I spoiled that for ya! I haven’t gotten that far yet) Oh, and I also had to pay for the ring set. Yeah, what a guy.

I’m no longer a romantic person, though. I swear I’m not. I enjoy romance on screen but not in real life. Maybe deep down I just don’t think I’m worth the effort. I dunno.

I guess I’m turning into a bitter old maid. How can this be so if I don’t truly want to get married? I’m generally content with my life. I’m happiest when I’m alone or with perhaps one other close person (generally my brother or Aaron). Not marriage material.

Ugh. Thanks for reading. I’m going to bury myself in my work now. There’s plenty of it waiting for me!

Comments

[ascendingflame.livejournal.com]

Hope you feel better soon, hon *hugs*

Here, have some Anakin to cheer you up :)

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Julia. *hugs back* Anakin + chocolate + time should do the trick.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Whoa. How does one go from being asexual to insatiable? Or was your asexual label just referring to no activity at the time?

Perhaps you should send Darth Limpus my way. No, wait, send the annoying guy that looks like Hayden. Do you still see him around?

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Aw man, now I'm even more depressed.

Back to the different sex drives thing - I don't think any man would be happy with once every 2-3 years. Unless perhaps there's some floodgates waiting to be opened that haven't been tapped. Ah well, not really an issue.

Oh hey I sort of had a roboclaw the other day. It's this contraption my dad built for me to assist with the outdoor Christmas lights. The task would be impossible without it because my 6-foot ladder isn't tall enough, but it's not the easiest thing to manuever. /random

[sanestlunatic.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I know how you feel. Every time I hear about someone I went to school with getting engaged/married, I'm just a wee bit jealous (even though, if I really wanted to get married, it certainly wouldn't happen till after I got my BA!). At the same time, meh, I don't really want to deal with the hassle of having a guy around. Unlike you, I do have a sex drive, but I've just accepted that sex with something other than my poor abused right hand (TMI: carpal tunnel + wanking = pain) isn't going to happen. Such is life.

...unlike you, I think I'm probably too young to be a bitter old maid. :P

(Also, saying that I want romance is mostly a lie, because I don't care about a romantic proposal, and I've never wanted a fancy wedding. I'm not nearly girly enough for that.)

[laariii.livejournal.com]

Gah i hate hearing about other people getting married & having babies. For some reason i have a strong desire to breed.One of my greatest fears is not getting married before my biological clock runs out or being infertile.

I’ve never dated anybody which is a disappointment to my father who reminds me of this defect every once in a while. For some reason he wants me married off far more than my mother does- she doesn’t seem to care either way.

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

Haaaah, yeah Lumy I was going to be a bitter old lady with cats. Fate had other plans.

Fate's a bitch. Don't tempt her.

she'll fuck with you JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN.

skery.

[sweet-panda.livejournal.com]

Every once in a while I see couples that I want to be. The people that were friends for ages and just... when the time was right, ended up married. I just don't have any friends that I'm that close to. Of either gender.

I'm not worried about it either way. Someday I'll get married, or I won't. My sex drive is either nonexistant (like... when I don't have anybody to take care of it.) or sky-high. But it's kind of conveneint that way.

I'm not worried for you, either. :) You'll find something. Or not, whatever makes you happy.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

YOU will find someone. You actually WANT someone (maybe not at the moment, but you do at some point in your life) And really, how could anyone not fall in love with you? You're great. /gushing

I'm just having a very self-pitying, down in the dumps, loser-y, "I'm the most pathetic creature that ever walked the earth" sort of week. *sigh*

[azurien.livejournal.com]

aw i'm sorry. you are not usually sad! *HUG* just think of all the poor Africans who suffered and died for that ring. i wouldnt wear one. yep i'm an old maid too. i bet you could go on eharmony or something and find a guy hwo doesnt liek the sex too much. for crappy proposals, my bf was on heroin and then later he forgot he asked and had to again, then i got arrested the same day for running away. lol so TOP THAT!
dont be sad I LOVE YOU!!! *HUGGLES*

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Awwww - that sucks! Boys suck. A lot. We should become lesbian lovers. You're only a few hours away. *snicker*

I do want to go see "Blood Diamond." Hmmmmmm.

[azurien.livejournal.com]

yes!! L'L's! you should come visit me here and we can have marvelous adventures. my life's so much better now i tried to be cool like you and ditch those awful boys! don't feel bad, boys are super lame and they smell.