"Your focus determines your reality."
Feb. 14th, 2007 08:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12This is getting to be a bad habit.
I’ve had good Valentine’s Days and bad ones. It really is just another day. I quoted Qui-Gon in my entry title because it’s true. You can choose to wallow in angst and self-pity or you can focus on things you can control.
Of course, doing that is not always easy. I still remember a day a few years ago when I was in a funk, talking to Aaron… he said I should watch more baseball or something along those lines, and I whined that it’s depressing because they show all the families in the stands and talk about the guys’ families and kids and stuff all the time. He was a bit perplexed at that. He said, “Well, that’s what you choose to see – you could focus on nothing but the infield grass if you want.” Which is, of course, ridiculous. But, yeah, when you see a cute kid you can either think, “Awww, what a cute kid!” or “There’s something I’ll never have.” (Or, for those younger than myself, how ‘bout “I hope I have a kid that cute one of these days”) And before any of you say it – yes you could also think, “Meh.” But that’s beside the point.
The computer guy brought in a big heart box of chocolates for all us girls. He’s single, but he went and bought that for us.
My Johnny-Depp-obsessed pal here passed out cute PotC valentines to us (she gave me Orlando. Smart woman!) She’s also single.
I used to do stuff like that. Actually… this might be the first year in eons that I didn’t buy silly valentines to give to people. I used to do it for less-than-pure motives: to give one to whatever guy at work I was crushing on. To perhaps earn myself a hug or a “Aww, aren’t you sweet” from said guy.
Those days are over, though. I don’t feel things for people anymore. I think this is a good thing, given the heartache that it would inevitably lead to for one or both parties.
I’m not the only single person in the world. I’m not even UNHAPPY about being single, despite what this post might lead people to believe. But do I wish I was normal? Today, yes I do. The rest of the time – meh. I don’t want to change my mostly comfortable existence enough, especially given how sure I am that I’m beyond help.
On a fluffier note… I made a cake the other day for me and my bro. Not really for Valentine’s Day but whatever. (No,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
senatorsfan, we don’t have Brenda/Billy issues :P) The not-a-diet can resume when it's gone.
On a WTF note… last night I dreamt that my wages were being garnished for $670/month, for student loans. I don’t have student loans, nor did I ever have them. I was all panicky in the dream trying to figure out how I could afford this. At least I woke up with a huge sigh of relief to start my day!
I’ve had good Valentine’s Days and bad ones. It really is just another day. I quoted Qui-Gon in my entry title because it’s true. You can choose to wallow in angst and self-pity or you can focus on things you can control.
Of course, doing that is not always easy. I still remember a day a few years ago when I was in a funk, talking to Aaron… he said I should watch more baseball or something along those lines, and I whined that it’s depressing because they show all the families in the stands and talk about the guys’ families and kids and stuff all the time. He was a bit perplexed at that. He said, “Well, that’s what you choose to see – you could focus on nothing but the infield grass if you want.” Which is, of course, ridiculous. But, yeah, when you see a cute kid you can either think, “Awww, what a cute kid!” or “There’s something I’ll never have.” (Or, for those younger than myself, how ‘bout “I hope I have a kid that cute one of these days”) And before any of you say it – yes you could also think, “Meh.” But that’s beside the point.
The computer guy brought in a big heart box of chocolates for all us girls. He’s single, but he went and bought that for us.
My Johnny-Depp-obsessed pal here passed out cute PotC valentines to us (she gave me Orlando. Smart woman!) She’s also single.
I used to do stuff like that. Actually… this might be the first year in eons that I didn’t buy silly valentines to give to people. I used to do it for less-than-pure motives: to give one to whatever guy at work I was crushing on. To perhaps earn myself a hug or a “Aww, aren’t you sweet” from said guy.
Those days are over, though. I don’t feel things for people anymore. I think this is a good thing, given the heartache that it would inevitably lead to for one or both parties.
I’m not the only single person in the world. I’m not even UNHAPPY about being single, despite what this post might lead people to believe. But do I wish I was normal? Today, yes I do. The rest of the time – meh. I don’t want to change my mostly comfortable existence enough, especially given how sure I am that I’m beyond help.
On a fluffier note… I made a cake the other day for me and my bro. Not really for Valentine’s Day but whatever. (No,
senatorsfan, we don’t have Brenda/Billy issues :P) The not-a-diet can resume when it's gone.On a WTF note… last night I dreamt that my wages were being garnished for $670/month, for student loans. I don’t have student loans, nor did I ever have them. I was all panicky in the dream trying to figure out how I could afford this. At least I woke up with a huge sigh of relief to start my day!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 10:57 pm (UTC)I've had I think 10 pieces of chocolate today >.> BLECH my stomach is complaining about them too. I'm totally going to get fast food for dinner. I fail at diet-ish-ing.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 02:57 am (UTC)I guess when Sean and I were together it had more meaning, but even then I was never exactly a huge fan of Valentine's Day. Take it or leave it.
On another note, loved the SFU semi-reference. I really need to keep writing SFU fic, but I seem to be stalled in Obidala gear right now. Gee, I wonder why that is ... ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 04:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 08:14 pm (UTC)True, the rest of the credit has to go to Katie. She'll be proud. :) I've been working on an Obidala fic for three days now -- woulda finished it if real life hadn't kept getting in the way. Bah. Stupid real life. *kicks it*
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 03:20 pm (UTC)-Stad
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 05:41 pm (UTC)