CYOA Page 8
Sep. 15th, 2013 03:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12You know this kid! And he's slightly older than your first guess: he's ten years old. His name is Zack. And he's...
"Zack, what are you doing out here?" you ask the disheveled boy. "Everyone thinks you're dead!"
"Could I please have some food?" is his answer.
Way to dodge the question, dude! He's definitely skinnier than you remember (which may be why you didn't recognize him right away?); you're not surprised that he's starving. You slide off your horse to retrieve some jerky from one of the saddlebags as Joel, apparently satisfied that the kid is alone, circles back.
Joel doesn't seem to totally recognize him, but you're pretty sure he heard what you just said. "Wait, is this..."
"The kid who went hunting with his dad and ran off with a bunch of infected," you supply. Zack seems a bit... skittish?... but hungry enough to brave coming close enough to you to snatch the jerky out of your hand before you can even fully extend it to him.
Joel nods. "Weston's boy?"
"Yep." You feel a stab of pity for the kid as you watch him tear through the prized meat ravenously. "Hey, slow down... you want some water, too?"
Only after Zack has been fed and watered, the two of you sitting on one of the large rocks while Joel hovers nearby, does the boy address your earlier statement. "Did you say I ran off with infected?" he asks incredulously.
"You didn't?" You trade knowing looks with Joel; he had said there was something fishy about the dad's story. "Okay, not like... with them, but they were chasing you?"
"Um, no. There weren't any infected. Is that what he said?"
"They sent patrols out right away," Joel answers. "Searched that entire area, that direction... for miles. No sign of infected... an' no you."
Oh yes, you remember that -- it was one of the times Joel had gone Outside without you. You're still a little bitter that neither Joel nor anyone else saw fit to come take you along to help; you only found out long after they'd gone. It doesn't escape your notice that Joel is avoiding eye contact even now while he speaks of it. He always thought there was something fishy about that story, too...
Zack makes a sort of grunting sound. "Figures he'd say that."
"Then what really happened?" you ask gently.
The kid just stares at his feet.
"You can tell us," you urge him.
He sneaks a glance at Joel, then returns his gaze to his sneakers.
"It's okay, you can trust him," you say in your most reassuring voice. But, you have to admit, Joel does not exactly radiate warmth and comfort and I'll-keep-all-your-secrets to the average person. No one knows him the way you do! "Would you rather tell just me? Alone?" you try.
After a moment, he nods his head just enough for you to identify it as a yes. You look up at Joel, hoping he's not pissed...
He's not. "All right. I'll go... take a walk over here." Staying within eyesight, of course.
And Joel does have good hearing, so you wait until you're totally sure he's out of earshot before encouraging Zack again. "I know he looks scary and stuff, but he's actually the nicest guy ever, I swear."
"You're lucky, then."
You know that Zack, like pretty much everyone in Jackson, thinks of Joel as your father. At first, you loved that... loved the association. The implied lifetime bond. Part of you still loves it, in a way. Just... how can you eventually reveal that you're actually in love if people think that? You're cool with the secrecy for now (you pretty much have no choice on that: for him to even consider being with you that way, you had to promise not to tell anyone -- at least not until age eight-fucking-teen, for fuck's sake)... but you're not sure how long you can stand it. (You're working on that.)(...Without much success, even though in most cases, you can make Joel cave on whatever you want!)
Back to Zack, though... "Dude, your dad was really--"
"He's not my dad!"
Shit! You forgot. You learned of their non-relation in your early Jackson days, when you asked if someone in his family had ever run a pharmacy in Colorado... he just looked at you funny, then remarked that it's not his family. Anyway, how could you forget after what you were just thinking?? But the way Zack said that... so angrily! It's like he doesn't want Mr. Weston to be his dad. "Right... yeah, I forgot, sorry. He was really sad about you disappearing."
"Tch. I doubt it. He hates me." Zack is still sullenly looking at his shoes, and now he's begun to kick his feet back and forth against the rock.
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Did he get mad at you for something? Joel gets mad at me sometimes, too. Like... lots of times." Not a total exaggeration, even if you are just trying to make the kid feel better.
Zack sneaks a sidelong glance at you. "Really?"
"Oh, yeah! Loads of times. It's normal. It doesn't mean your d-- it doesn't mean he doesn't love you."
He's quiet for a moment, chewing on his lip. You wonder what he's thinking about... if your words are having some profound effect on him. I'm good at this! you can't help thinking with a mental pat on the back.
Zack actually looks at you now. "Um, can I ask you something? And you swear you'll tell the truth?"
"Anything. I swear!" Your heart goes out to Zack as you watch him swallow a lump in his throat.
He leans in closer and whispers, "Does Joel ever hit you?"
Oh my God! What the fuck?! You're so surprised that you're not even sure how to answer that.
"Like, when he's mad?" Zack adds.
Well, of course you know how to answer it-- "No! No, never, I swear. He would never hurt me. Never." --but you're not sure what to say to the obvious implication that Zack's pseudo-dad hits him. "So..." The awkward syllable just hangs in the air.
Zack nods to himself and returns to looking at his kicking feet again. " 'kay. My real dad never hit me, either," he mumbles.
Man, you really want to share this with Joel... he would know what to do. Joel always knows what to do. Well, hey, I know Joel pretty well -- what do I think he would do? ...go beat the shit out of the guy? Or would he wonder if Zack is lying? ...Is Zack afraid to tell Joel cuz he thinks he'll side with the asshole or something? You don't think he would do that... are you just biased? Just because Joel would kill anyone who hurts you doesn't mean he would for just anyone, even if the 'anyone' happens to be a kid. And that guy is a Jackson resident; maybe you don't want Joel to kill him and force Tommy and Maria to punish him for it.
"I'd show you my back," Zack is saying now, "but... then he might see." He makes a vague gesture indicating Joel.
Now you're curious about the state of his back... but you don't need to see it. Must be more than just bruises, though -- he's been gone for so long that those would all be pretty much healed by now! "It's okay. I believe you. So what happened? That one day, I mean."
He's still a bit reluctant to talk, but you manage to get the kid to tell you that he ran away that day... that he had planned it. He put extra stuff in his backpack that he figured he'd need to survive. When the time felt right, he kicked the dude in the shin to allow him a chance to run off. Even so, he half expected to get shot as he fled. He ran faster than he ever had in his life, until his guts hurt... and then still kept running. He remembers hearing shit like "you ungrateful little fuck" and "you won't last two days without me" right after he took off, but that had stopped pretty quickly; apparently the man hadn't given chase.
Zack has no idea what day it is. You estimate that he disappeared around two months ago... the food and water he brought lasted him less than two weeks. He had brought extra bullets for his hunting rifle, but he exhausted those a while back, too, grudgingly admitting that he misses more often than not. Since then, he's been surviving on whatever he can find in the wild... and whatever he can steal (you don't make him admit that he was going to try to steal from you and Joel). By the end, your arm is around his shoulders, and he's talking freely -- like the floodgates have been opened and now there's no shutting them. You listen with sympathy as he speaks of the hardships he's endured out here.
You eventually point out that Joel's patience is going to run out soon (you see the way he's pacing... but so far, he's obeyed your don't-come-back-yet signals) and that you have to tell him something. Zack agrees that it's okay if Joel knows that he ran away, but no details.
You wish Joel wasn't scowling when you finally slide off the rock and wave him back over, but you suppose you would be pretty annoyed too if you'd been forced to wait that long and then only get the bare bones story. You also wish that he wouldn't scoff when you tell him Zack is a runaway.
"Don't you realize how good you have it at home?" he fucking scoffs.
You cringe; you imagine Zack mentally adding the "you ungrateful little fuck" to the end of that. Joel probably sounds a lot like his not-dad. "Joel, he had his reasons," you say defensively, aware of the look Zack is trying to give you... but that's all you were going to say about his reasons, so the warning is unnecessary. "Don't yell at him!"
"I ain't yellin'," Joel replies, and it's true, just... his words tend to come out sounding harsh sometimes. Like now. "So where were you plannin' on goin', when you ran away? Hmm?"
Zack shrugs.
"If you're lookin' for somethin' better than Jackson, you ain't gonna find it." Joel sighs. "Get your stuff... Ellie'n'me'll take you back."
"What? No!" Zack exclaims, his pleading gaze darting back and forth between you and Joel. "Can't you take me with you? Wherever you're going?"
"Why?" asks Joel. "I would think you'd be missin' the comforts of home by now. An' your dad should know that his son--"
"He's not his dad!" you interrupt. "Zack has no ties to Jackson. No family, I mean. If he doesn't want to go back, we can't make him go back."
"He's just a kid. We can't leave him out here."
"I know! That's not what he wants, either. Right, Zack?"
The boy shakes his head. ...which means he's agreeing with me, I think?
"So what do you suggest? Bring him with us an' then take him home? We don' know what we're gonna run into out here."
"Yes, bring me with you!" Zack chimes in. "If there's another town I can live in then you can leave me there. If not, then... I'll come back to Jackson with you."
Joel looks skeptical.
"Look," you say, "he's had enough of being alone out here. He's practically starved to death, and scared... he will come back with us. Right?"
"Yeah!" Zack agrees.
"We're close enough to home right now that he'd prob'ly be home tomorrow night," says Joel. "We can share our food an' we'll have plenty left over when we get to Jackson. The path we've been on so far should be reasonably clear goin' back. But if we take him with us, we're gonna be short on food, we don' know what lies ahead... an' he'll be more of a liability than an asset."
You feel a surge of annoyance at that last bit. The way Joel speaks of Zack like he's... a thing, or something. Not a person. A person who's right fucking there, for fuck's sake (even if he doesn't seem particularly offended... possibly due to not understanding the phrase?). You know that Joel must have thought of you the same way, in the beginning: you were just cargo to him. And it had annoyed him to have cargo with thoughts and feelings and free will.
"He has a rifle," you point out. "We can give him bullets."
"Havin' a rifle don' mean he's a good shot," Joel reasons.
"I'm not bad," says Zack, contradicting what he told you earlier. "I'm not the greatest, but I shoot okay."
Joel looks at you for a moment and then says to Zack, "Give us a minute, kid."
The two of you move out of Zack's earshot, and Joel positions himself to keep an eye on him. Because he might go steal a horse or something? you scoff to yourself. Or maybe in case he takes off... although you do think Zack's had his fill of roughing it.
"I won't ask you to betray his confidence," says Joel, much to your relief. "But do you really think it's best if we take him with us? He's gonna end up back in Jackson anyhow, an' he'll have to deal with whatever he's runnin' from. That's assumin' he makes it back at all."
You look at Joel with a pained expression. "He'll be with us! We won't let anything happen to him."
"That's naïve an' you know it," Joel replies, suppressing another sigh. "If it comes down to it, I won't trade his life for yours. An' you can't trade your own for his, either."
You frown at him. "As long as you won't trade yours for his. That's the same thing as trading mine, you know."
You detect a hint of a smile under his stern expression at that. He cups your cheek and strokes it with his thumb. "Sure. He's number three." He drops his hand and adds, "We wouldn't be able to kiss in front of him. Father-daughter stuff only."
Shit, I forgot about that! "I know," you say. "But that's true whichever way we go. It's just temporary. I think... I think it might be good for him to be away from Jackson a little longer. Like, talk to me about stuff first. And maybe to you, if you're nice to him."
"I'll let you decide, then," Joel replies, not bothering to respond to your indirect request to not be a dick.
Sometimes you like it when Joel lets you decide things, and sometimes you think it's so much easier to just go along with what he says. Like now. Ugh! It's true that Zack will have to return to Jackson eventually (unless he can ingratiate himself to someone at the hospital you're going to?), so you could just be prolonging the inevitable... and you agree with Joel that it's safer to head back than to deal with the unknown that lies ahead. On the other hand, Zack wants to come with you...
If you bring him with you, turn to page 16.
If you return to Jackson, turn to page 19.
Carlos
Date: 2021-01-13 01:21 pm (UTC)Re: Carlos
Date: 2021-01-13 01:52 pm (UTC)