CYOA Page 35
Sep. 15th, 2013 02:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12You seem to be quite safe and isolated out here, but looks can be deceiving... and you have a kid to think about now. You don't know what he's been through in the weeks since he left town, but you're pretty sure he hasn't seen the kind of shit that you and Joel have. You feel obligated to shield him from as much of that as you can, for as long as you can.
And you can't help wondering if you're getting a taste of what it might be like when you and Joel have kids. IF we have them, you correct your thought. You haven't discussed it. You're pretty sure Joel doesn't want kids, after what happened to Sarah, and... well, if you have to keep your relationship a secret until you're eighteen, you'd better not get pregnant before then or that might be a wee bit fucking impossible to do. Sometimes you wonder if that's another reason Joel won't have sex with you... like, getting you pregnant would be a fate worse than death, to him? You don't dare ask because it's one of those questions you don't really want to know the answer to.
At the very least, you're getting a taste of what it must have been like for Joel when he took on the burden of smuggling you (a kid he'd only just met) across the country. He did that somewhat inadvertently, since the deal was only to get you out of the city, but he could have refused. Could have taken you straight back to Marlene. You're extremely grateful he decided to do the job himself; if he hadn't, who knows where you would be right now? Marlene never made it to the Fireflies.
You're not a burden anymore. Joel may still feel responsible for you because he's older, but you've proven you can take care of yourself -- and take care of him, too, when he needs it.
You decide to splurge and have a four-course meal, since Zack is ravenous. Mushy banana nut bread (mushy to start with, not mushy in transit: you made it yourself, and you had to get creative with the banana ingredient because you didn't have any), a half ear each of corn on the cob (also made by you, though boiling water is hardly difficult -- and you no doubt will have to listen to Joel opine that it's much better hot and grilled with garlic butter), fried chicken (you can't take credit for this one -- they're leftovers from Maria), and wild strawberries for dessert (courtesy of Mother Nature).
You don't think it's half bad for a cold supper, and judging by the way Zack wolfs down his portions, he agrees with you. Of course, if he hasn't eaten for a while, a wet shoelace would taste good to him. You've been there... where you just want something solid to chew, whether it's edible or not. The kid doesn't offer to help with anything, but if you or Joel ask him to do something, he does it immediately. You hope he doesn't feel like a burden; maybe he's too young for that? You remember Joel saying once that children are burdens by design and they don't realize it. One of your favorite things to do is throw his words back at him when they work in your favor, so you like to use this one in arguments about whether you're an adult or a child! (...of course, Joel could be lying when he says you're not a burden...) (...and adults can be burdens, too, can't they?)
When your dinner things are cleaned up and packed away, and the horses are all set for a night of grazing, it's completely dark out -- which means it's time for sleep. Earlier than you would go to sleep at home, but you don't want to waste flashlight batteries unnecessarily by reading for hours, and what else is there to do in the dark? (er... that you can do in the presence of a kid, anyway) If you sleep well, you can get up just before dawn and get an early start tomorrow. Last night, neither of you slept very well, so maybe tonight you'll be too exhausted not to?
The house has several nice bedrooms, complete with beds and bed covers. Since the horses are outside and Joel feels he'd be too far away upstairs if anyone would try to steal them, he's opted to sleep downstairs. ...On a couch that he's pushed into the kitchen/dining area, because there's a cracked window in there he can listen through. You feel that since he's decided it's safe enough for the horses to be outside overnight, he should go ahead and sleep upstairs, too, but he disagrees. At least you got him to listen while you read a chapter of your mystery novel out loud (you can waste a little bit of battery light)... if only from the hallway, near the stairs. You were close enough to the beginning of the book that you decided to start over, for Zack's benefit. Jackson does have a school of sorts that teaches kids to read, and Zack is learning... but you only have the one book, and you're not patient enough to let him stumble through the bigger words (besides, you like reading out loud, and wish Joel would let you do it more often).
As soon as you close the book, Joel's on his feet, calling "good night, kids" over his shoulder. It takes you a few moments to disentangle yourself from Zack to chase him down.
"Joel, wait!" You hurry to the railing and shine your flashlight down on him. "I'll come with you."
"No, you stay up there. 'Night!" He vanishes from sight like he can't wait to get away from you.
You can't help feeling a little hurt. You didn't expect him to kiss you in front of Zack, but... he could have at least invited you down, if only to collect a good night kiss. Well, fuck this -- I'll go down there later. Maybe after Zack is asleep. "Good night," you say to the boy distractedly.
You're halfway down the hall when you hear a tentative "Ellie?" coming from the kid's room. You turn back. "Yeah?"
"Can you stay with me? This house is kind of scary."
This house doesn't give you the creeps at all, and it has to be better than wherever Zack has been spending his nights. "I'm right down the hall, okay? You'll be fine."
"Please? This bed is pretty big... or I can sleep on the floor. I don't care."
You sit at the foot of the bed, resting the light beside you rather than blinding him with it. "Haven't you been sleeping alone for a long time now... since you've been out here? I'll be really close -- and Joel's right downstairs. No one's getting in here with him down there, trust me."
"But... if something's already in here...?"
"No one's in here. We looked, remember? ...What do you mean some thing? Like... a ghost or something?"
"No... I dunno. I mean, maybe? I think I'd sleep better outside than in here. Unless you're with me."
You chuckle. What a weird kid. "Dude, you're not sleeping outside."
"So you'll sleep with me?"
It's kind of cute that he has no shame; he's ten, not five... a little too old to believe in monsters under the bed, right? Or maybe he really does feel that comfortable with you already. You've been told you're 'good with kids.' Joel DID tell me to stay upstairs... you remember how oddly jealous he got about Zack riding with you. You snicker to yourself at the thought of how he'd feel if he found you in bed with the kid, all snuggled up and cozy. "Well, Joel, if you had just let me kiss you good night..."
The problem with this of course is that you still want to kiss Joel good night. And... well, you really want to sleep down there with him. Even if he's acting like he doesn't want the same. ...except he did make a remark earlier about how the sofa folds out into a bed. You tried to catch his eye to see if he intended that to be an invitation, but he wouldn't look at you... he gave you no signals whatsoever, other than the remark itself. Still, what's he gonna do -- kick you out?
If you sleep with Zack, turn to page 66.
If you stay with Zack until he falls asleep, then sneak downstairs to sleep with Joel, turn to page 69.
Carlos
Date: 2021-01-21 04:49 am (UTC)RE: Carlos
Date: 2021-01-21 05:00 am (UTC)