CYOA Page 53

[lumy12]

Page Fifty-Three

What's the harm in letting a tired Joel nap for a little while? He might be grumpy about it later, but you have an argument ready for that: you can tell him that he should be grateful to you for allowing him this little treat, because if you left with him this tired, maybe he'd miss something, and you guys would get killed. Essentially, you're saving both of your lives!

Oh yes, how noble you are. All snuggled up with Joel in the daytime without having to worry about anyone walking in on you. Free to be as close to him as you want. And you are very cozy on this couch.

Very cozy. ...perhaps a little too cozy, because your eyelids have begun to feel heavy. You close your eyes and feel yourself getting lulled by the rhythmic sound of Joel's peaceful sleep-breathing (you like to tease him about snoring, but most of the time, he doesn't get much louder than this).

"Ellie."

You think you hear your name, but it's kind of fuzzy...

"Ellie!" A little louder, accompanied by a slight shaking sensation. "Wake up."

Wake up? You blink sleepily, confused. You're on a couch, not in a bed or bundled in blankets on the ground. You suddenly realize where you are and why you're there. "Oh no," you groan.

"Oh yes. We've been sleepin' for hours."

"I'm sorry!"

Joel kisses your temple. "What for? Not your fault we fell asleep."

Except it kind of is: you could have woken Joel up! But you don't mention that. "Well... I made you stay on this couch when you wanted to leave."

"Guess we were really tired after barely sleepin' last night. Night before, too, actually. Well, now we gotta decide if we wanna try to make up some of the time by goin' past dark or not. Moon should be pretty full, at least..." Joel starts getting up, dragging you with him since you're still clinging to him.

"It won't get all the way dark for like... what, another two or three hours, right? The horses rested a lot so we can go faster, maybe." You move the saddlebag with your lunch stuff to the floor and start rolling up your 'tablecloth'/blanket.

"Good idea. I'm gonna make a pit stop first, then we--"

You wait, but Joel doesn't finish the sentence. "What?" you prompt him distractedly while you finish with the blanket.

"Shit." Joel grabs a gun -- the shotgun, you think -- and runs outside.

"What?" you yell after him, alarmed now. You ready your gun and run after him. There's no one out back. You don't see what he's so upset about.

...until you do. Oh my God... where are the horses?

Joel pivots slowly, looking at the tree line in every direction. Then he heads to the front yard, probably to do the same.

FUCK! Now you feel extremely guilty, instead of just a tiny bit guilty at causing you to lose so much time. You wish you could go back in time to that moment you let yourself doze off. How could I let this happen? You've lost the horses, which is the worst thing of all, but you've also lost the saddlebags you didn't bring inside, and the other blanket. You try to remember what was in those. Extra water... fuck! ... the camping grill thingie... nice, but you can live without that... some rope, some tools... a small amount of extra clothes, like your hoodie... some ammo and crafting supplies... all of your first aid supplies... fuckFUCK! No, not all -- you're pretty sure Joel has one in his backpack. He told you to put one in yours, too, but you... didn't, for some reason.

What you do have is most, if not all, of your food... your water canteens... (shit! the purifier is with the horses)... matches and dinnerware... and all of your weapons. You each carry ammo and a few miscellaneous weapons like bombs and Molotov cocktails in your backpacks. And gee, I still have my book. Yay.

You find Joel standing in front of the house, looking utterly forlorn. You go stand next to him and wrap your arms around him, half expecting him to push you away, but maybe his anger at being robbed hasn't kicked in yet, because he doesn't. You don't feel especially angry either (except towards yourself), just very... "I'm so sorry," you mumble into his shirt.

"Me, too."

But it's my fault! Maybe you should confess, but... well, even though Joel doesn't seem angry, now probably isn't the time. And even if you do, Joel is still going to assume the guilt himself. It's just what he does. "What are we gonna do?" you ask, trying not to sound panicked.

"We're gonna find the motherfuckers that did this," Joel says calmly.

He may not be yelling and throwing shit, but now he's at least starting to sound a little angry, which you decide is a good thing. Anger is a better motivator than sorrow; after all, when you're sad, you just want to go off in some corner and cry, but when you're angry, you want to take action. "Great! So... how are we gonna do that?"

"Easy. We follow the trail."

"If there is one," you point out.

"There will be. -Granted, it might be a little harder to follow on the road compared to this nice soft dirt..."

He turns to walk back to the paddock where the horses were, and you take his hand. You realize you feel worse that this happened to him than about it happening at all, which doesn't really make sense. Maybe it's the guilt. Or maybe it's because I love him sooooo much? You squeeze his hand, wishing like mad that you could do something to make it better. Joel doesn't push you away or anything, but you get the feeling you may as well not even be there, for all the good your presence does him right now. He's got that... glint of determination in his eye... in his quick strides.

You know him pretty well by now, so you don't take it personally. And you truly don't... it's not one of those things where you have to talk yourself into the way you're ~supposed~ to feel (you have those as well). You just wish you could do something.

And you can: you can find the fucking horses!

Joel starts studying the ground by the gate, and you let go of his hand. You look, too, but you don't really know what you're looking for. "How can you tell which ones are ours and which ones are theirs?" you wonder out loud. Then you immediately wonder if now is one of those times where it's better that you shut up, lest you annoy Joel further...

But he doesn't seem annoyed. "See these here? These are ours... see how you can see 'em both comin' an' goin'? But those ones there... they look different... an' there's only one set, comin' in. See the difference?"

You're not sure you can, but you say "uh-huh" anyway. "What about when there's no dirt? Or... open dirt, I guess?" Not like the dirt disappears when it's not plain to see.

"The grass where they stepped is still flat... over here, see? An' you can see partials in the dirt, in places... we don' know if they left the same way they came in, so we need to follow the hoof prints -- the ones leadin' out. See 'em?"

Those you can see the difference on more easily. "So do you think they were just here? Like right before we woke up?"

"I wish I knew. I ain't that good at it."

"You seem pretty good to me." Better than you, at least, but that's not saying much. You follow Joel as he slowly follows the tracks, pausing in places that require closer scrutiny. The trail doesn't go to the front yard; the thieves took the horses through the neighboring woodsy area. "I guess it could've been worse... they could've come inside and killed us in our sleep, right?"

Joel snorts. "I wish they had."

"What?!"

"If they had come inside, I would've heard them," Joel explains. "I would've woke up real quick an' they wouldn't've killed us."

"I dunno... you were sleeping pretty good, to stay asleep for a few hours like that," you say doubtfully.

"Don't remind me," he grumbles.

"Sorry," you whisper.

He frowns. "I'm just angry with myself for lettin' that happen in the first place, an' then I don't even hear our horses gettin' stolen right from under our noses? Maybe I'm gettin' too old for this shit."

"You're not!" you exclaim. You hate it when Joel talks about being too old for something. He doesn't reply. As you continue to move farther away from the little cottage, you wonder... "Um, Joel? Are we going to come back here? Cuz... maybe we should bring our shit with us?"

Joel snorts and shakes his head a little -- not to say 'no' but to like... mock himself some more. "See what I mean? I wasn't even thinkin' about that. You're right."

Much as you love it when the words "you're right" pass Joel's lips, you feel a little sad that he's just going to use this to beat himself up harder. "You were just focusing real hard. Okay -- you stay here, I'll run back and get it."

"No, I'm comin' with you."

"Don't be silly, then we'll have to retrace the tracks. I'll be right back." But Joel grabs your shoulder, halting you. You turn around. "What? There's no one in there. You checked."

"I didn't check after. Prob'ly should have."

"You were half asleep." You can make excuses for him all day, but you know it won't do any good. So why do you even bother?

"I'll go. You stay here."

"No, I can just--"

"No, Ellie. You can't even carry all that shit. Both backpacks, a saddlebag, all that gear..."

"And the blanket," you add. Yeah, all of that would take you a couple trips. You let Joel go with no further protests. "Be careful!" you call after him. Because you can't seem to not, even though these words are also fairly meaningless.

You can see Joel from here. Can see the house. It's not real close, though. You watch him get closer and closer to it... farther and farther away from you. And that's the last time I ever saw him alive...

Where the fuck did that horrifying thought come from?

I can't let him go in there by himself! Someone could be there, ready to ambush him! ...hence, the "be careful"... Joel's not an idiot, you remind yourself. Maybe he spaced this just now, but he would've remembered to get our stuff in another minute.

You have a really strong urge to run after him, though. Maybe he'd be annoyed that you abandoned the tracks, but they won't be that hard to pick up again, right? And if you're wrong, so what if Joel teases you for being paranoid?

But you don't want to be paranoid. You should trust Joel to signal to you if anything is amiss. You watch him enter the house...


If you give in to your paranoia and run after Joel, turn to page 99.

If you wait for him as planned, turn to page 104.

Comments

Carlos

[(Anonymous)]

LOL, are planing to kill anyone here?

RE: Carlos

[luminations.livejournal.com]

I KNOW you didn't just ask me to spoil you.... lol