CYOA Page 97
Sep. 13th, 2013 07:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lumy12You can't just leave the only place Joel knows to return to, to find you... and he will. You know he will.
You're not very hungry, but you start eating a deer jerky stick -- as slowly as possible, just to have something to do. You gnaw and nibble on that sucker until the sun starts going down.
Where the FUCK is he?! In a moment of pure anger, you scream "JOOOEEELLL!" as loud as you can. "You can't just fucking leave me out here!"
But that's exactly what he did.
You rack your brain for an explanation; there simply isn't one that makes sense. If he's gotten sick of you hanging around him... if he'd rather spend time with someone else, or by himself... if he doesn't want you living with him anymore... couldn't he have just told you that? And if he's too much of a coward to tell you himself, he could get the message to you through Tommy or Maria. He could've left a fucking note. Hell -- he could've just left like this, without a word of explanation, but at home.
And that's the thing that ultimately makes you decide for sure that he didn't ditch you. No way would he leave you Outside, knowing how upset you'd be about him leaving... without your friends for support... without the safety of being Inside. Wouldn't he expect you to eventually go looking for him, possibly putting yourself in danger? He views all of the Outside as a danger zone. The whole world, actually... You know that even Jackson isn't completely safe, but you feel safe there -- and Joel never has. Not fully, at least. No, Joel would never be this cruel to you.
Plus... he fucking promised he'd never leave you alone.
But that was a long time ago, and promises can be broken.... You wonder if he's angry with you. He hides his feelings really well; it's possible he hates you and you just don't know it. Anything's possible.
BUT. It doesn't matter. You can speculate about his reasons all you want -- it always comes down to he wouldn't leave you Outside this way. You hate to admit it, but you know with absolute certainty now that something's happened to him.
It's become dark enough that it's hard to see. You decide if Joel doesn't return by morning, you'll go search for him. And in case he needs help finding you, you'll build a fire. The task also serves to give you something to do, and you desperately need that right now.
You bundle yourself up in your blankets and sit with your back against a tree, willing yourself to doze off, because nothing passes the time faster than sleep. But you don't fall asleep. You sit there, staring into the flames... your mind completely blank.
Continue to page 174.
Carlos
Date: 2020-12-29 12:58 pm (UTC)Re: Carlos
Date: 2020-12-29 02:16 pm (UTC)